Today's Joy Guide, Author Cindy La Ferle
Join Our 30-Day Pilgrimage into Joy!
Day 25: With the help of a wise other, we remember to see the sacred in the ordinary.
Please welcome my special blog guest, author Cindy La Ferle.
I first met Cindy when my husband and I were publishing Healing Garden Journal. I'm not sure whether she found us or we found her. Either way, she began penning a monthly column for the magazine. Her essays consistently touched my heart, as they did our readers, reminding us of the important things in life: love of family, appreciation for the simple things, and how the extraordinary can be found in the ordinary.
Her book, Writing Home, is one of my favorites. It's a soulful collection of essays and newspaper columns written over twelve years. They're guaranteed to make you laugh, cry, and root you more firmly in the sacred nature of everyday life. They'll open your eyes as well as your heart.
I hope you will enjoy this interview with her. I know I did. As an added bonus, Cindy is giving away a copy of Writing Home to one lucky commentator. Leave a comment or ask a question on Thursday or Friday and be entered into the Book Giveaway. Good luck, and may Cindy's wise words guide you into greater Joy!
1. You've been writing for a very long time now on the joys to be found in everyday life, especially the joy of family and community, in the form of the reflective essay. How did this type of writing come about for you?
It really evolved. When I began my career, I was more focused on journalism. I wrote features on local businesses and art events for my local papers, and I did some reporting. Around that time, I was offered the editorship of a national country inn magazine that was published in the Detroit area. It was an amazing job. I traveled around the United States to cover B&Bs, country inns, and historic attractions. But my son was a preschooler then, and I often felt conflicted about all the traveling I did for work.
As it turned out, my career shift -- or detour -- was made for me when the travel magazine folded after five years. At the same time, my beloved father died suddenly, which was another wake-up call to spend more time with my family. As I explained in Writing Home, I felt a bit like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. I literally returned home to work -- and to rediscover what I loved most.
That's when I began reflecting on the fragile beauty of life -- and writing about the sacred qualities of our "ordinary" days. One of the first reflective essays I wrote was published both in Country Gardens and Reader's Digest. Soon after, I began publishing in other national magazines. Meanwhile, the editor of our local paper offered me a weekly column, which gave me the chance to share my life lessons with my community. The essays in Writing Home form a memoir of those very special years.
2. Do you believe the experience of joy is different for you now than when you first started writing and your family was young?
Yes. In my early motherhood years, I focused mainly on things that happen when you spend time with young people. My son and his friends taught me to look at the world with a sense of play and whimsy -- a sense that had been asleep when I was working in the corporate world of the 1980s and '90s. Before the Internet took over, my boy and I spent a lot of time building Lego castles and visiting the parks. Seeing the world through the eyes of a child is pure joy.
In midlife now, I'm facing many natural losses and changes -- from menopause to the empty nest to the declining health of my elders. But there are many opportunities for growth, too. My husband and I have been married 29 years, but for the first time in ages it's "just the two of us" now. We can rediscover our relationship.
So, these days, my joy is often found in "reinvention." (In fact, this year I began a new online column on midlife issues for a daily paper in my community.) My husband and I love architecture, for instance, so we purchased a Frank Lloyd Wright house in western Michigan last year. Like everything else that was conceived in the 1950s, it needs some renovation, so we're making it an ongoing retirement project. This is another source of joy for us -- knowing that we will leave this historic home better than we found it.
3. Your essays (and blog posts) are consistently uplifting. How do you stay positive on a day-to-day basis, especially when there is so much happening in the world that can drag us down?
Thank you, Jan. The bad news does get to me sometimes, which is one reason I choose to highlight the positive, whether I'm writing for my own blog, newspapers, or magazines.
I think it helps to make a habit of being grateful for what you have. I've always followed the adage, "Bloom where you are planted" because I need to feel grounded. If I spread myself too thinly, I feel scattered and useless. So, I've learned I can make more of a difference by giving the very best of myself to my family, my immediate neighborhood, and my own community. And I try to spend time as much time as possible with supportive, upbeat people. Lastly, I don't watch reality TV or pay attention to celebrity gossip. I stay informed of national and international news, of course, but I try to devote more energy to what I have the power to influence or change.
4. Can you name some books/resources that you feel are essential to one's life journey, especially in terms of living simply, with joy? What have been your favorites or the most influential?
There are so many -- including your book -- that I can only touch on a few here. Like you, I admire the writings of Anne Morrow Lindbergh, including Gift from the Sea, which has uplifted me during the various stages of womanhood. I've also admired the writings of Sue Patton Thoele, a featured friend of yours, and have kept A Woman's Book of Courage next to my bed at times. Other favorites include Thomas Moore's Care of the Soul and Sarah Ban Breathnach's Simple Abundance, which I read daily when it first came out.
For a real dose of joy and nostalgia, I like to re-read Ray Bradbury's Dandelion Wine every summer. It's magical. And I can't forget the poetry of Billy Collins, which never fails to give me a lift when I need it, and sometimes a good laugh.
I hope you will enjoy this interview with her. I know I did. As an added bonus, Cindy is giving away a copy of Writing Home to one lucky commentator. Leave a comment or ask a question on Thursday or Friday and be entered into the Book Giveaway. Good luck, and may Cindy's wise words guide you into greater Joy!1. You've been writing for a very long time now on the joys to be found in everyday life, especially the joy of family and community, in the form of the reflective essay. How did this type of writing come about for you?
It really evolved. When I began my career, I was more focused on journalism. I wrote features on local businesses and art events for my local papers, and I did some reporting. Around that time, I was offered the editorship of a national country inn magazine that was published in the Detroit area. It was an amazing job. I traveled around the United States to cover B&Bs, country inns, and historic attractions. But my son was a preschooler then, and I often felt conflicted about all the traveling I did for work.
As it turned out, my career shift -- or detour -- was made for me when the travel magazine folded after five years. At the same time, my beloved father died suddenly, which was another wake-up call to spend more time with my family. As I explained in Writing Home, I felt a bit like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. I literally returned home to work -- and to rediscover what I loved most.
That's when I began reflecting on the fragile beauty of life -- and writing about the sacred qualities of our "ordinary" days. One of the first reflective essays I wrote was published both in Country Gardens and Reader's Digest. Soon after, I began publishing in other national magazines. Meanwhile, the editor of our local paper offered me a weekly column, which gave me the chance to share my life lessons with my community. The essays in Writing Home form a memoir of those very special years.
2. Do you believe the experience of joy is different for you now than when you first started writing and your family was young?
Yes. In my early motherhood years, I focused mainly on things that happen when you spend time with young people. My son and his friends taught me to look at the world with a sense of play and whimsy -- a sense that had been asleep when I was working in the corporate world of the 1980s and '90s. Before the Internet took over, my boy and I spent a lot of time building Lego castles and visiting the parks. Seeing the world through the eyes of a child is pure joy.
In midlife now, I'm facing many natural losses and changes -- from menopause to the empty nest to the declining health of my elders. But there are many opportunities for growth, too. My husband and I have been married 29 years, but for the first time in ages it's "just the two of us" now. We can rediscover our relationship.
So, these days, my joy is often found in "reinvention." (In fact, this year I began a new online column on midlife issues for a daily paper in my community.) My husband and I love architecture, for instance, so we purchased a Frank Lloyd Wright house in western Michigan last year. Like everything else that was conceived in the 1950s, it needs some renovation, so we're making it an ongoing retirement project. This is another source of joy for us -- knowing that we will leave this historic home better than we found it.
3. Your essays (and blog posts) are consistently uplifting. How do you stay positive on a day-to-day basis, especially when there is so much happening in the world that can drag us down?
Thank you, Jan. The bad news does get to me sometimes, which is one reason I choose to highlight the positive, whether I'm writing for my own blog, newspapers, or magazines.
I think it helps to make a habit of being grateful for what you have. I've always followed the adage, "Bloom where you are planted" because I need to feel grounded. If I spread myself too thinly, I feel scattered and useless. So, I've learned I can make more of a difference by giving the very best of myself to my family, my immediate neighborhood, and my own community. And I try to spend time as much time as possible with supportive, upbeat people. Lastly, I don't watch reality TV or pay attention to celebrity gossip. I stay informed of national and international news, of course, but I try to devote more energy to what I have the power to influence or change.
4. Can you name some books/resources that you feel are essential to one's life journey, especially in terms of living simply, with joy? What have been your favorites or the most influential?
There are so many -- including your book -- that I can only touch on a few here. Like you, I admire the writings of Anne Morrow Lindbergh, including Gift from the Sea, which has uplifted me during the various stages of womanhood. I've also admired the writings of Sue Patton Thoele, a featured friend of yours, and have kept A Woman's Book of Courage next to my bed at times. Other favorites include Thomas Moore's Care of the Soul and Sarah Ban Breathnach's Simple Abundance, which I read daily when it first came out.
For a real dose of joy and nostalgia, I like to re-read Ray Bradbury's Dandelion Wine every summer. It's magical. And I can't forget the poetry of Billy Collins, which never fails to give me a lift when I need it, and sometimes a good laugh.
5. If you had one pearl of life wisdom you could offer readers today, what would that be?
Look for God in the humblest details of your everyday life, and you'll find joy and meaning. Even if you don't like doing laundry, for instance, consider the miracle of your children while you're folding their T-shirts. While preparing dinner, remember how lucky you are to cook, serve, and eat such a meal. Popular culture and the media have brainwashed us into thinking that we're missing a big party somewhere else -- or that we're not good enough if we don't own certain products or look like the celebrities on magazine covers. Ignore all of that. Find heroes and beautiful people where you live, and celebrate the life you have.
Jan, I truly appreciate this time with you and your readers. Thanks so much!
Cindy La Ferle
Look for God in the humblest details of your everyday life, and you'll find joy and meaning. Even if you don't like doing laundry, for instance, consider the miracle of your children while you're folding their T-shirts. While preparing dinner, remember how lucky you are to cook, serve, and eat such a meal. Popular culture and the media have brainwashed us into thinking that we're missing a big party somewhere else -- or that we're not good enough if we don't own certain products or look like the celebrities on magazine covers. Ignore all of that. Find heroes and beautiful people where you live, and celebrate the life you have.
Jan, I truly appreciate this time with you and your readers. Thanks so much!
Cindy La Ferle
www.laferle.com
Do you have thoughts to share? Cindy and I welcome your responses ...
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A bit more about Cindy...
Cindy La Ferle writes essays, columns, and features on family topics and women's issues. Formerly the editor of Innsider, a national travel magazine, she has published award-winning pieces in more than 60 different newspapers and magazines, including Reader's Digest, Writer's Digest, Mary Engelbreit's Home Companion, Country Gardens, The Detroit News & Free Press, Better Homes & Gardens, Unity Magazine, Literary Mama, Guideposts publications, and The Christian Science Monitor. Her essays have been anthologized in numerous books, from Chicken Soup for the Soul to a Houghton Mifflin Harcourt textbook for English literature students.
Writing Home is a collection of Cindy's reflective essays and columns on home and family life. These pieces were written after she left the corporate world to work from home while raising her son. Featured in national media, Writing Home has won several awards for creative nonfiction, including one from Writer's Digest, and has been praised as "an anthem for the thinking woman."
Every Thursday in The Oakland Press, her weekly "Midpoint" column explores topics of interest to "mid-lifers" between 40 and 65. She also writes about midlife issues for Michigan Women's Forum.
Cindy lives with her husband in Royal Oak, Michigan, where she also gardens, teaches writing workshops, and creates altered art. Visit her website: Cindy's Home Office. Writing Home is available at amazon.com.
Cindy La Ferle writes essays, columns, and features on family topics and women's issues. Formerly the editor of Innsider, a national travel magazine, she has published award-winning pieces in more than 60 different newspapers and magazines, including Reader's Digest, Writer's Digest, Mary Engelbreit's Home Companion, Country Gardens, The Detroit News & Free Press, Better Homes & Gardens, Unity Magazine, Literary Mama, Guideposts publications, and The Christian Science Monitor. Her essays have been anthologized in numerous books, from Chicken Soup for the Soul to a Houghton Mifflin Harcourt textbook for English literature students.
Writing Home is a collection of Cindy's reflective essays and columns on home and family life. These pieces were written after she left the corporate world to work from home while raising her son. Featured in national media, Writing Home has won several awards for creative nonfiction, including one from Writer's Digest, and has been praised as "an anthem for the thinking woman."
Every Thursday in The Oakland Press, her weekly "Midpoint" column explores topics of interest to "mid-lifers" between 40 and 65. She also writes about midlife issues for Michigan Women's Forum.
Cindy lives with her husband in Royal Oak, Michigan, where she also gardens, teaches writing workshops, and creates altered art. Visit her website: Cindy's Home Office. Writing Home is available at amazon.com.
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20 comments:
Welcome, Cindy! It's great to have you with us today. I look forward to everyone's comments and the insights that you will share about living with deeper awareness and Joy!
Cindy, Thanks for reminding me that being grateful is the first step into a joyful day.
Good morning Jan and Cindy,
All we're missing are big sink-in arm chairs, coffee and sandwiches. All the area you touch on Cindy are major concerns of mine because I see the mindset, the values and practices disappearing in our society.
I was once an active participant in the rat race. Thank God, Thank God, for showing me another way, a better way, a simpler way to live and love and pursue my passion.
Ever so often, I lose my focus and everything - maintaining my home, caring my family, staying connected with my friends, honoring my writing commitments, taking time to care for my own needs - seems like too much for one person.
I'm so glad you visited today and inspired me to take another look at my life, redefine what is important, retool myself to deal with its ever-changing landscape and rejoice in the simple blessings and seemingly mundane dance of everyday duties.
When I consider all you spoke about and all that I've been blessed with in my short life, my new phrase resonates - Oh joy!
What a gift - two of my favorite women in the same place! I have books by both of you on my shelf and come back to them often when I need a lift (more and more often these days). I appreciate so much the positive energy you two are bringing into the world - we need it now, more than ever.
Cindy, thanks for your stand on avoiding celebrity gossip. I am so often stunned by the level of notoriety people achieve for what amounts to bad behavior. Even cnn.com puts those stories in its main headlines feed, as opposed to the entertainment section. Any thoughts on why people focus so much on that stuff? Are we really THAT shallow?
Cheryl, Jan, and (the other) Cindy,
Thanks so much for the welcome and your thoughts! I so appreciate Jan's focus on joy this month, as it seems that so many people out there have been rocked by the economic downturn.
It can be hard to find joy when we need it most. And yet, as many of us have discovered, sometimes the "bad times" jolt us into looking harder for what makes us happy -- or remind us of all the good things that still fill our lives.
Example: Last month a good friend of mine lost his job. (A common event here in Detroit.) But he and his family sat down with a financial adviser and learned how they still can live well on less income. His wife told me that they are actually feeling a surge of freedom as they discover that less is more. There is joy in being unburdened by all the "stuff" we collect.
Hi Jan,
I'm so thrilled that you've invited Cindy to be here as your guest today. I've only just discovered her, however, I already feel there's a wellspring of tangible wisdom that she offers.
Thank you too for your kind words about Bear over at my place today. I'm hoping a solution can be found that will solve the problem and not leave us penniless in the process...
Hi Cindy,
First of all, great photo! I agree with you when you talk about looking past the glitter & flashing lights to see who or what is operating it all (another Dorothy reference perhaps?). If I take just a moment to look, really look, at all the abundance that I enjoy on a daily basis and, frankly, without having to exert much effort, I am overwhelmed with amazement and gratitude. I mean, how could I not? To live in these times, as a woman, and enjoy all the freedoms that I do, to enter a store and have aisle after aisle of food from which to choose, to have access to medical care and books and a warm, dry, safe place to live.
Even to have the time that we do with those that we love and cherish is a blessing. Thank you for sharing a little of yourself with us today.
*Blessings*
Carolynn
Thanks for the terrific interview. I'm a regular reader of Cindy's and I LOVED her book "Writing Home", so it was nice to get to know her better.
Love the idea of "30 days to Joy". I'll be back!
Cheryl,
I love the words you've put to your journey here today. Your passion for living fully, yet simply, with integrity just shines through! I hope you know that we ALL get off track and forget our Truths for living. As you say, the values that support living in this way are disappearing so quickly. It truly is up to us to keep them alive. We must live by example and for example. Beautiful writing!
Joni,
I am on the same page with you here. No celebrity news or gossip. Perhaps some of the reasons we are so focused on this is pure escape, or to live vicariously through the lives of others (thereby forgetting our own problems), or to elevate the woes of others so we feel better about ourselves? Seems that bashing others (even participating in that indirectly) makes us feel somehow superior. Though I also think drama has its own allure. Unplugging from the drama is a very good thing--and peace-inducing. Life changing! Nice to find you here. Hugs!
Carolynn,
Give Bear a hug for me. So glad you are here sharing your thoughts. Also glad to know that you are in touch with the freedoms and joys of living as you are. So often, I awake in the morning full of gratitude for the simplest of things: a mattress to sleep on, blankets, food in the fridge, being able to hear the birds chirping outside my window...especially when there are so many people who have nothing, no creature comforts, no ease in their lives. Focusing in this way as you seem to be makes life glitter and shine with a different hue.
Cindy,
Oh, I am loving your comments so far! I am so glad you are with us today. You are a wise and centered presence, especially for living in tumultuous times. Reorienting ourselves toward simple joys is a powerful message.
My favorite quote remains one that reinforces this concept. "You have to sniff out joy. Keep your nose to the joy trail." Buffy Sainte Marie.
Good Morning Ladies!
Cindy, I smiled so brightly to your answer to Jan's final question. I truly believe this as well. I deeply enjoyed your interview and look forward to reading your blog more in depth.
So many great comments from lots of wise women -- I am so happy you've left your thoughts here, Joni, Carolynn, Joanna, Cheryl, and Cindy --
thank you!
Joni, like you, I still can't figure out why people in our culture are so attracted to what I call "junk television," especially given all the better, high-minded programs and books we have access to -- yet are ignored in favor of the cheap and easy ...
Thank you Jan for introducing Cindy.It was a great interview with profound messages to carry with us.'Look for God in the humblest details of your everyday life, and you'll find joy and meaning.'I loved this line as we get caught in our busyness and stop appreciating the simple but beautiful pleasures that life shows us everyday.
Jan, thanks for sharing the wonderful Buffy Sainte Marie quote. I love it!
The concept of drama is interesting to me, because I was raised on television and became especially attached to those kinds of shows. There's something addictive about the jolt of adrenaline attached to the suspense and emotional climax of those stories. I hook into drama easily, wherever it rears its ugly head. And as I've entered my 50s, that's one thing I'd like to leave behind.
Pursuing and finding joy, I think, brings a much more satisfying thrill - as I'm sure you know, Cindy, with your restoration project and the reinvention going on in your life.
I am off to do that in Saugatuck tomorrow, with four days of R&R by the water. Happy weekend everyone!
G'day Cindy
Your final pearls of wisdom were just what the doctor ordered today. Thankyou.
I also applaud your take on media, when I share with people that they should try cutting back their media intake re celebrity goss, sports stars, and news beat ups, they seem horrified and look at me as if I must be very out of touch.
The sad thing is that by feeding the mind with that low level info-tainment, they become out of touch with themselves and what is real!
What a great interview. I laughed out loud about the media having us believe we're missing a big party somewhere else!
I can relate to your idea of folding the laundry except I think of my husband and all he has done for me and what he means to me.
Thanks for sharing about your wonderful life.
Hi Jan and Cindy -
Sorry I'm late! We had contractors here today, in the midst of getting estimates for some major home work (reinventing its design?)
Which, Cindy, is a concept that I find more and more often in my life. Tonight I snuck in time in the garden, staking the tomato plants, and I thought how when I started gardening two decades ago, it was with a completely different intention and purpose than it is now. Then it was merely to grow my own native tomatoes, something I love and wanted to do myself. But it's reinvented itself beautifully over the years, especially once I brought my toddler daughters into the garden, and they have been in the gardens ever since. As they've grown, and I've grown as a person, that garden has become a place of togetherness, peace, quiet, joy. It is a place I share with loved ones, a place that's expanded to my girls' own flower garden, which brings goldfinches and hummingbirds to our kitchen window. Oh it goes on and on, the symphony of sounds produced there, the seemingly watercolor visuals, well, you get the gist of it.
So yes to Reinvention! Gardening is only one area of it in my life; it's spilled over to my work, my home, my music, and probably most satisfying, my choices. Thanks for shining a light on the concept today.
Joanna,
Welcome. So glad to have a friend of Cindy's here. We both appreciate your support of women who soulfully journey together. May yours be blessed! We'll actually be journeying into Joy at least through the first week of July, so stay tuned!
Tabitha,
I can understand why you found the last question so meaningful, for I sense that would be an answer you yourself would provide. :-)
Joni,
Wonderful personal insights you are having about drama and getting sucked into it. We are in similar places, you and I. I've opted out of as much of that as I can and the peace of mind and heart that comes is so gratifying. Have a glorious weekend of R & R! I do love Saugatuck for just that. :-)
Kel,
I love YOUR last statement. Very powerful. It does seem that as we engage in these "trivial pursuits" we do get more and more out of touch with our humanity (compassion for others) as well as our divine essence. Thanks for that reminder!
Sema,
I, too, resonated with that line. To find the Divine in everything (for it truly is there!) if we but have eyes to see. Ah, yes...
Tess,
How nice to hear of your appreciation for your husband. He does sound like a great guy from what I have heard from you over the years. A partner that grows with you is heavenly.
Joanne,
I love your reinvention story. Touches the heart in a very special way, especially knowing that your reinvention created such joy in your family--and will for future generations to come. I can just see those grandchildren in the garden with you...
Cindy,
Thank you for a lovely day of thought-provoking conversation. Blessings!
Jan and Cindy, the interview was a pleasure to read yesterday and again today. I find such encouragement in the thoughts you share. Thank you.
Thank you, Sharon, you are most kind. Have a peace-filled weekend!
Jan, and all her readers,
Thank you so much again for highlighting my book and work on this special site. I enjoyed being here, enjoyed reading everyone's insightful comments on joy -- and had several more left on my site as well. Wishing you all continued joy on the journey!
Thanks again, Cindy, it was pure pleasure. May your writing journey continue to unfold in beautiful ways...
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