Meditation Monday - Spread the Love
On a Meditation Monday long ago (July 13), I shared the Buddhist practice of Metta—Lovingkindness practice. This very simple practice is so profound that spiritual seekers across many traditions are now taking it to heart. In a world in need of much healing, Metta can facilitate that.
Metta involves sending lovingkindness to a series of individuals—our self, benefactors, loved ones, neutral others, and difficult others, then to all beings everywhere—in that order. We do Metta in steps so our hearts gradually open if they are closed or are blocked in some way. Done in stages, this practice opens us; softens and gentles us ... And by the time we get to the end of the prayer*, our heart is as wide as the world.
Of course, it takes time, commitment, and practice for this to transform us, as does any new spiritual practice.
When I first posted about Metta, I explained the 4 lines we say prayerfully, holding in thought and heart the person whom we wish to enfold in lovingkindness. We begin with ourselves first, because without an attitude of lovingkindness toward ourselves, we cannot be genuinely openhearted toward others. So we begin where we are. Here are the 4 lines:
May I be happy.
May I be well.
May I be safe.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
We offer the stanzas in a gentle rhythm, paired with our breath, taking all the time we need to feel happy, well, safe, and at ease.
Today, I would like to invite you to widen that circle of love.
The next step in Metta practice is to think of your benefactors—those individuals (human or divine, here or gone) to whom you are most grateful for guiding your life, for sharing their wise selves with you, and helping you along the way.
Name one, and hold them in your mind's eye, as if they are standing right in front of you.
Now, say the 4 line prayer for them:
_________ (Name),
May you be happy.
May you be well.
May you be safe.
May your be peaceful and at ease.
You may do this for just one individual and proceed on to the next step, or offer Metta to a number of individuals. There is no one way to do this; just follow your heart and do what feels right.
Now we bring our attention to loved ones: people who are "easy to love." Dear others. Friends, family members, respected acquaintances, anyone who comes to mind that you love.
As before, select one person and offer the 4 line prayer toward them. Name them, breathe evenly, and imagine this dear one receiving your blessing. As before, with benefactors, you may pray for just one or go through a list.
Now, notice how you are feeling, how your heart may be warming and opening to those around you.
Stay with this feeling. Let lovingkindness fill you, wash over you, carry you throughout your day.
Do you feel different now?
I would love to hear ...
And I would love to hear who you sent Metta to ...
I'll go first.
~~~~~
In future posts, we will explore Metta with neutral people and difficult others ... then all beings.
(For a wonderful, concise article on Metta and its benefits, click here. And thank you to Sharon Salzberg and Sylvia Boorstein for first exposing me to this beautiful practice. It has changed my life...You are always in my prayers.)
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22 comments:
Metta has become my primary form of meditation. It softens me, keeps me awake and aware, especially if my heart has somehow closed.
Benefactors: The Dalai Lama, Mary (the Blessed Mother), Jesus, mentors and teachers (Frank, Sylvia, so many to name, I rotate them...)
Loved ones: My husband, mother, father (though deceased), my children, grandchildren, friends and more.
I will also add that if I am feeling particularly anxious or sleepless, Metta always (always!) relaxes me and brings me back to a state of ease. I have been amazed how it has "cured" my anxiety...
May you be glorious today!
I learned this practice from you and for that I will FOREVER be grateful.
Benefactors: Mary, Jesus and the Angels
Loved Ones: My husband, my daughter, my nieces and nephews. I send it to my entire family as a group, because it's such a large family, so I say "May my family be joyful" and so on.
When I do Metta before bedtime I find a deep sense of relaxation.
Thank You Jan!
Thank you for this great reminder. It is hard to over emphasize the benefit of Metta practice as part of our spiritual growth and healing. I am amazed at how sending love to ourselves and others opens our hearts as we practice Metta during meditation.
Namaste,
Roger
Hi Jan,
I first learned about loving kindness meditation through Richard Gere. I saw an interview with him where he said how whenever he went out into the streets, he sent love to whomever crossed his path.
I was a new student of Buddhism when I heard that interview, so I decided to do that because it felt right. The first day was a disaster but eventually it became a way of life.
Love is what connects us all and so I try to send it to everyone I meet. Some days are easier than others but I still try to do my best.
By the way, in your response to my last comment, you mentioned about wanting to know more about how I almost became a nun. That would be fine with me. Just let me know how you want to proceed. :)
Namaste!
Jan,
Doing this, and really bringing myself into this moment - I felt a level of peacefulness and comfort - and that, really, everything is going to be okay. That life is filled with goodness. Very powerful to do and let my soul speak names that came to me. Jan, thank you for opening my eyes and heart to this prayer...
Peace,
Lance
Tabitha,
I am so glad that you are faithful to this practice, Tabitha. I love to hear how it has changed you. It does provide a deep sense of peace, doesn't it? xo
Roger,
Thank you for your comment. Yes, Metta is amazing. I have found the healing that also comes with the latter portion--doing metta for others with whom we have difficulty--to be most profound. But, in general, I love how it softens us and opens us up to more. Blessings!
Nadia,
Your introduction to Metta sounds divine. I chuckled when I read that your first attempts at metta in the "marketplace" failed. Aw... I enjoy offering metta in the same way--in the grocery store, standing in line somewhere; it all helps.
Well, I am wondering if you did any posting on your blog about your almost nun experience. :-) Perhaps we can start there. As a writer and conveyer of women's stories, I am always intrigued by any woman's journey into the Sacred, esp. when she is drawn to holy orders/to take vows. Thank you and blessings!
Lance,
I am happy to hear this. I love your choice of words: allowing your soul to speak the names...So glad this has brought you peace.
The next levels of Metta (with strangers and "enemies"), I believe, is even more transformative yet. Stay tuned!
I am looking forward to your visit here on October 8.
It's amazing, Jan, how upon meditation of these lines, for myself and loved ones, a sense of ease does settle upon me. It seems that something, I'm not sure what, but something extraneous falls away. Maybe it's that a certain clarity comes with peace, which to me is at the root of this verse.
Hi Jan .. I love the way you've put the prayer above .. I did it for our healer lady, Janice!, who visits my mother and my uncle - and obviously me!
I need to come back when I'm not so tired as I am at the moment - powers of concentration and learning are tricky.
All the best - I love coming across these 'things' that I don't know about and can explore ..
Hilary Melton-Butcher
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I would like to incorporate this into my life. I have a ritual of counting my blessings that provides space for me to open up and, in gratitude, give and receive love. I guided someone dear to me through this just this morning, in fact. He was suffering from intense feelings of pain & depression. I'd like to think it had a healing effect.
Blessings,
Carolynn
Feeling love in a series that goes in a direction from easier to more difficult objects of love sounds like an interesting exercise that also traces what might be seen as the overall course of spiritual growth.
I love the metta offering, and first discovered it at IMS (Sharon's meditation retreat in Massachusetts). It was there that I learned the deep meanings of offering metta to myself, in particular. I found I could love others and wish them well, but my actions stood in stark contrast toward myself.
I'm grateful you shared this with all of us, Jan. It is truly a beautiful wish for all of God's creatures.
Joanne,
So happy to hear that this recitation brought you a measure of calm. I do agree: the formula for a practice such as this (and all of life, for that matter ;-) is Calm, Clear, Wise...They each build one upon the other.
Hilary,
The wonderful thing about Metta is that you can offer it anytime, anywhere. It's just remembering to do so.
Carolynn,
So good to hear. Click through the article (and, if you feel like it, pick up one of Sharon Salzberg's books on Metta practice—my fave is Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness) to learn more, esp. how Metta fits into all of life and how transformative it can be. I would like to think, too, that the prayer helped your friend. :-)
Paul,
How wise. How perceptive! I did not think of this before, but you are absolutely right. It does make sense that Metta is a microcosm of our spiritual journey, all the way across the board. Thank YOU for sharing this...
Jan this is very powerful! I was feeling a bit angry with my husband and did the loving kindness prayer to him. At first it was hard, but then I actually felt the anger begin to dissipate. Hmmmmmm I think I need to do this more often. Thank you for sharing this today!
Hi Jan,
The metta prayer is my favorite which, thanks to you and Igrid, I now know about. I am so grateful to you for sharing it back in July and now for breaking it down into more detail. This is a keeper! Best to you this week!!
Jan, I used to practice a lot of metta, but find much of my recent meditation focuses on compassion for self. I sense it is more vital for me to practice self metta at this point in time. I still sned it to others, and thank you for the wonderful reminder.
Got your letter:) Will write back after my reterat in a few weeks.
Beautiful, Jan. I do a morning blessings in the same way, but I think I may start doing this at the same time, blessings, love it is all part of the same good will.
xoxo
This meditation came to mind as I started my day today, which surprised me a bit because I haven't consciously made it a practice. That may be the sign I need that it's time.
Jan I used to say this years ago and have forgotten about it. Thanks for reminding me of a beautiful thing we can do for ourselves and others.
Caroline,
I am thrilled to hear how the use of Metta shifted your angry feelings from love to something better. Isn't it powerful?!
Jodi,
Oh, so good to hear that you have incorporated Metta into your life! We just never know when we make these posts on our blogs how they will resonate. I am in thrall for you. :-)
Mermaid,
I do agree that it is vital to always include ourselves in metta practice. That is what keeps us open and soft toward others. I hope your retreat is wonderful & everything you hope for. I can't wait to hear!
Annie,
Yes they are the same: blessings, good-will, lovingkindness. And our spiritual practices can be flexible and open to more. So glad to hear this.
Sharon,
I love when something like this happens. It is as if the Universe is saying just that, "Now, you are ready." Wonderful to hear...
Tess,
Sometimes it is wise to go back again to an older practice, revisit it, and see how we feel about it. Often we are in a new place on our journey and the practice offers new invitations. Glad you are open to this. :-)
Hi Jan, I just discovered your beautiful and inspiring blog.
Looking forward to sharing and caring.
Have a beautiful day.
Hi Jan,
This is a wonderful post and you have described it well.
In the insight meditation practice that I teach, preparing the mind is the 2nd activity after preparing the body in the meditation process.
The way I teach preparing the mind is through radiating universal loving kindness (Metta). We radiate loving kindness to ourselves, parents, teachers, family, friends, enemies, indifferent parties and finally all beings.
This practice eases the mind from conflict prior to meditation. It also contributes towards us becoming more compassionate.
Read more about my guided meditation and mindfulness dhamma teachings.
I love this meditation too, and am so happy to see so many people have similar experiences. We teach meditation and practice Metta between the more challenging days, every 10th day or so, for the very reasons expressed here.
thanks,
Simone
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