Staying Awake
Is it possible to fall back "asleep" after we have experienced an awakening?
I've heard tell that it's not. I don't think I've ever fallen back asleep, but I have nodded off for a short nap.
I call the nap—temporarily forgetting what we know about living as our truest selves, about living with inner peace, clarity, and kindness—as SPIRITUAL AMNESIA.
Yep, spiritual amnesia. It's just a strange, potentially exasperating "pause" in our spiritual lives. It can be as short as a coffee break or as lengthy as a hot air balloon trip around the world. Either way, we find ourselves really cranky, self-absorbed, or irritated with others. We neglect our spiritual practices. In the blink of an eye, we've forgotten everything we've learned on "the path."
I know this has happened to you because it has happened to me, more times than I would like to count.
I'm not sure why we experience spiritual amnesia. Perhaps we're moving too quickly and overly focused on the past or the future. If we were living fully in the present moment, we would not be "unaware." We'd remember the commandments, or our Bodhisattva vows, or the precepts we hold dear.
We "forget" because we are human, have a crafty ego and a wild mind that lures us into all kinds of crazy thought processes and emotions. We forget because we have not fully embodied our spiritual identities. I understand that, so I have compassion for myself and others when his happens. To me, it is not about being perfect, or getting life right, it is about simply staying as aware and awake as I can.
I met a man awhile back...he was attending a workshop I was leading....he kept looking at me as I spoke with the most intense, sorrowful eyes...I wondered what was going on with him...and finally, he said:
"I used to know all this stuff. I used to be on the same path you are on. My life was wonderful and I felt so good. But I haven't thought about these kinds of things in years. What happened? Why did it all go away? I guess I must have fallen asleep."
So, here's my question for you today.
Do you think once you have awakened you can fall back asleep?
Or, is our spiritual forgetfulness simply a prolonged case of spiritual amnesia?
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this ...
(Image courtesy of theblakelyfive.com)
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And congratulations to Sarah, from Cottage Garden Studios. She is the winner of Michael Mirdad's book, You're Not Going Crazy...You Are Just Waking Up. Enjoy!!!
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31 comments:
I think we, as humans,(since that's what we are,) do drift in and out of thoughts and old patterns, but the more we get to our core of love, the easier it is to avoid little amnesiatic bumps and detours.
Gee, I'm so deep sometimes - I amaze me!
I agree with you, Jannie. "Being" a deep, burning, molten core of love is key. :-) And that is certainly what this journey seems to be all about...
Thanks for sharing your wisdom. You are deep, we all are, when we remember...
So looking forward to your appearance here on Tuesday!
Sure, I think we can forget. For me, this is especially likely when I come into a situation with very old, embedded egoic patterns. Maybe some scenarios are like triggers -- or sleeping pills?
I think this might be why it's so hard to stay present, especially when you are first learning, with parents at the holidays, for instance :)
Nice article, Jan. I needed a dose of your calm compassion this afternoon, and I appreciate the re-centering I got from reading it.
I do believe we go into a temporary amnesia. I literally asked myself a few days ago "am I still fully awake?" I know as I continue my journey the less this will happen. :)
Fantastic post! So funny...I am a Reiki Master and I totally "forgot" about self healing and balancing. As I went in for my acupuncture treatment yesterday it downed on me that I was not taking care of my spiritual self. The past few weeks have been a crazy wild ride. I did fall asleep at the wheel for awhile and suddenly I hit the gas and am going 110 mph!
I finally feel calmer today and much more in control. I feel balanced and re-freshed. And I hope I stay away for awhile :)
Hi Jan, "spiritual amnesia", what a wonderful term! I totally agree, and it happens more than we'd like it to. I was just reading Michael's post "If Enlightenment Came with a Warning Label" and he talks about periods of keen awareness, compassion, and connectedness, and also about the fuzzy, cloudy periods where we don't feel so awake.
Thanks for reminding us of our humanness!
Cheers,
Miche :)
So many variables and situations are a part of our daily lives, that yes, I do think we fall back asleep, or nap, or ignore, often times as a reaction to any of those variables. They could be health, job issues, a complicated relationship. Something that triggers our closing our eyes to that awakening as we deal with an adverse issue at hand. Which ironically is probably when we most need to be awake.
(Hope you found a great tree! We decorated ours today too. 'Tis the Season!)
Jan, I read this post earlier in the day and have not been able to get it off my mind. In my life when there were times of tremendous material blessings, working and being a busy mom - it just seemed there was not time. Then swing the pendelum far in the other direction - when there are times of deep needs - we pray and meditate continually. A balance comes as we grow and mature.
The man you shared about - I think he forgot who he was - a spiritual being who is having a human experience.
It has taken me into 3 score and 10 years to find a balance. I finally know who I am. What freedom. You and all that comment are making much faster progress then this One Woman did.
Meredith,
I love your thought, that some ego triggers are like sleeping pills. That feels and sounds so right. :-) I am glad this help. We ALL need reminders now and then to calm and center ourselves, and even a friendly pinch to wake up again!
Tabitha,
I agree, and the more we stay attuned to questions like the one you asked yourself, we will have fewer lapses and quicker recoveries--well, at least we can hope. I like to ask myself, "What am I supposed to be learning here?" That seems to keep me more alert and aware...
Caroline,
Another fabulous metaphor: being asleep at the wheel. Don't we all? You forget you are a Reiki Master and sometimes I forget my week with the Dalai Lama. Really, how can we forget such important trainings. The ego does have a very very strong pull on occasion. (wink)
Michy,
It does seem that as long as we are in human form we will have these periods of forgetfulness. I am glad the Michaels' post resonated with you. :-) (This does make me wonder what everything will be like when we move beyond form...do you ever think about that?)
i wonder what the spiritual equivalent of no-doze tablets might be?
Joanne and Ernestine,
It sounds like you are on the same page and I concur. It does seem like our level of awakedness (is that a word?) may depend on life circumstances. Yet, I know precisely that what is being asked of me -- of any of us -- is to be vibrantly alert and aware all the time so we do not miss a beat of this heart we call life.
Ernestine, I firmly believe that we each progress (spiritually) at our own rate in Divine timing. We cannot rush or hurry it along. Lessons have to come, new doorways open. We respond as we are best able in that moment. So we can get confuse or diminish ourselves if we compare our journeys to others. I, for one, don't sense a being behind on your part. You are where you are and it is perfect! It can simply be your ego that wants to convince you that you could have done this journey better or faster.
An interesting aside, in the Hindu and Buddhist traditions, the path of a householder (a parent) is one of the most profound paths to self-realization and God-awareness. A sacred call. I agree...
Ernestine,
A p.s. I am so glad to hear that you feel you have found a sense of balance in your life. Wonderful!
Kel,
Great comment! Don't you think the equivalent would be our spiritual practices? The problem is remembering and feeling motivated to do them. Lately, for a number of reasons, I seem to have fallen lax in my meditation and prayer practice. Very unlike me. I seem to just sit more, watch, listen, be in the quiet. Less "doing." Sometimes even this feels like a form of mild amnesia...
I loved Adyashanti's take on this very subject, as he believes there are two kinds of awakening: abiding and non-abiding. Abiding, as he describes, sticks around. It's the full-on awakening that shifts us so profoundly we are never the same. A sense of the eternal moves in and takes over occupancy, and that's the space we operate from.
Non-abiding, on the other hand, means we've woken up at some point but not completely. And it may last for a few days, weeks, months, what-have-you, and then we fall back asleep. (As you described.)
I rather liked Adyashanti's description of it, because I do think we can get caught up in these very human bodies and minds of ours, and forget who or what we really are. This entire world is constructed, in a sense, to keep us asleep... Although since it's all illusion anyway, I could question that very statement and wonder, "Well is it?" (smile)
Thought-provoking; thank you, Jan!
Hi Jan,
I echo what Megan wrote because I think Adyashanti did a great job in describing what happens. Just because someone has awakened does not mean that they do not have off days or days when they are drawn into the drama of the world. Life is a process of continual evolution. There is always something new to learn or to discover. Therein lies the beauty of life.
Megan,
Thank you for this wonderful perspective from Adyashanti. I love the terms abiding and non-abiding, very Buddhist, of course. Shamatha meditation (peaceful abiding) resonates with my heart, so all this together in very nicely. I think this will be very helpful to other readers.
Nadia,
I so agree! Even the wisest, the most evolved (in our human perception anyway) have fallen prey to the ego. So many gurus and teachers from many traditions have succumbed to it allure (money, power, sexuality, etc.). We are all in process, as long as we are in this form, I say. May we all abide peacefully. :-)
Hi Jan,
Megan wrote my thoughts perfectly. I immediately thought about what I learned from Adyashanti when I read your post. In my own case, I experience the spiritual amnesia you write about often. More often than I wish, certainly. My mind gets going and I start believing my thought and the next thing I know I'm miserable again. I'm still learning to be patient and compassionate with myself--it frustrates me that even though I know better I still experience these moments. My hope is that they become fewer and farther between and eventually, I would love to have an abiding awakening, just as Megan describes in her comment. That is my wish for all of us!
What a thought-provoking post and what wonderful, thoughtful comments, too. I learn, I learn and then I learn some more. I need this constant "food" in order to remain awake. When I don't receive the proper nutrition, I get sleepy and it's easy to drift away. it's tough because we have to live in the illusory physical world around us with all its noise and distraction; it can be a challenge to go to those quiet places within. I'm thankful for my yoga practice, which centers me and keeps me awake and I'm thankful for the angels like yourself, Jan, and all those here who take the time to remind one another and to nudge us awake when we get sleepy. I am nourished here.
Really good question Jan. I like the spiritual amnesia explanation...or "naps"...I think (looking at the photo of this adorable child you posted), that we are all born awake and as children maintain this state for quite a while, but gradually the amnesia/napping sets in...and then as we "grow-up", we are graced with times of clarity/wakefulness...but it is a continual process of falling asleep and then waking up again. I have an image up at creativity portal today (Monday-http://www.creativity-portal.com/prompts/365/pictures.html) with a prompt that says "when I feel myself tipping..." So part of the process is to notice when we are tipping/falling asleep...so perhaps we can "wake up" again more quickly...but also to be forgiving of our imperfections...and love ourselves throughout the lessons we learn during those periods of sleeping/dreaming too.
gentle steps,
laura
Jodi,
"I'm still learning to be patient and compassionate with myself" says it all. Truly, what else can we do? This is the kindest choice and the most healing choice. It is also the choice that keeps us awake and aware. I am so glad to hear that these actions are priority with you. They are with me, too.
Today, I will be speaking with my spiritual mentor on the telephone and I know that is one of the things she will ask me, no matter what subject I raise. "Are you being compassionate with yourself? Are you doing metta?" LOL! When I take a "nap," these words never fail to wake me up again!
Rose,
Love the metaphor you use hear about spiritual food and nutrition—the nutrition that keeps us strong and alert—which comes from many sources (even blogging!) This is a beautiful way to think of the whole process of wakefulness. Like you, I keep learning and learning and learning....Peeling back layer after layer. It is all so good, isn't it? (Funny mistake, I just typed the word god instead of good...I do that alot!)
Laura,
I think you are spot on here! Yes, the notion of tipping is very potent. I often think of a myself as a personal teeter-totter in this way. Is one end way up, one way down, or am I somewhere in the middle in equanimity?
Vigilance (alertness to what is happening with us) and tenderness to self seem to be key.
I am not sure about the Adyashanti explanation here...that there is one type of wakefulness that is permanent... My personal experience says that it is important to accepting that there may be many degrees and stages of wakefulness.
I will check out the post you refer to here on tipping. Thanks and blessings!
OMG Jan! This post is absolutely precious! You know that stupid commercial - the one where the people knock themselves in the head and say "Duh, I could have had a V-8"? It's like that!
This - plus the comments - a great read today! I have sooo many days where I MUST be asleep or something cuz I will stumble along until I knock myself and say duh - hello? - a little off course here suZen! Usually I blame Monkey mind but that's not the point. How comforting to read I'm not the only one struggling with this - to stay awake!!!!
Jan,
Precious picture--captures exactly how I feel sometimes! Just zone it all out and rest away:)
I also like your use of "spiritual amnesia"; I call it hibernation. What I know is still there, still very much accessible, but my body needs a break to catch up with my mind--or something like that. Spirit is alive and well as the rest of my humanness catches up. In a way it's honoring the natural life cycle, and I need to be compassionate with myself and aware when I am in it.
However, hibernation is much different than letting fear sabotage or compromise misdirect--those are purposeful choices I sometimes allow because it's easier, or whatever the excuse for the situation is. When compromise is in my life it causes stress so I know to address it, when hibernation is in my life it's a state I know to be in and is peaceful. Kind of like that song.."And that my soul knows very well..."
Hi Jan,
My family and I are having a raffle to raise funds toward postage for our gift bag mission. We hope you will drop by and take a chance to win two awesome gifts!
Postage Raffle Drive
I think you can become so awake that you never fall asleep again, but for most of us I think it is
sometimes a case of just taking a nap like you said. I know for me that the times I foget what I am doing are usually when I have too much to do and hurry. Rushing around makes it hard to stay focused and in the moment. xoxo
To keep awake has been a real challenge when I am going back to a world of mindless doing.
My conversations become mindless as well and so I fall back into mindless mind chatter.
For me it has taken a lot of conscious effort to stay conscious and a lot of regular conversations at home and ones like here on your blog and via books.
Once we live in a world where we are surrounded by woken up people, I am guaranteed to not fall asleep, I think. Until then I am sure to nod off.
Ramana Maharshi has said that it only *appears* that we "fall asleep" because we have taken our attention off of that which is already and always Awake within us - the awake,aware Presence that is always there. We focus on the "things" that arise *in* this ever-present field of Awake Awareness, like thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas, opinions, the body, people, events, circumstances, which gives us the *sense* of falling back asleep. But it's because our attention has gone elsewhere. The mind focuses on these objects *in* Awareness, we don't actually fall asleep - although it feels that way. It's a matter of where we put our attention. The key,he says, is to always bring our attention back to this ever-present sense of Presence that is always, already awake. To just *recognize* that ever-present Presence that animates us. He says *This* is what we already ARE... So it's not the "me" that wakes up, or falls back asleep. It's just a matter of recognition and attention to this Beingness that we already are... In a sense it is the Self recognizing Itself, and the Self doesn't fall back asleep. But as always "we" *believe* the *appearance* is real, instead of what is truly Real...
SuZen,
You are too funny. I have a friend who says just that whenever she gets a bout of amnesia. "I should have had a V8! I am comforted by the fact that we ALL have moments of this...absolute forgetfulness about everything we've learned so far. We absolutely HAVE to love ourselves for this....otherwise, it would be completely heartbreaking. Compassion for self sure is key!
Joy,
I love how you've said this. "Spirit is alive and well," but our humanity just needs to catch up. Beautiful! And how you distinguish between amnesia and hibernation is profound. You really give pause for thought here....
Tabitha,
Welcome...will take a peek!
Annie,
So right on, girl. Overbusyness may be the killer of higher awareness. Moving too fast. Doing too much. These have created for me huge periods of amnesia over the years. Thank you for this great reminder. :-)
Wilma,
I agree. If we keep ourselves attuned, even through things like blogging with awakened folks, we will stay awake and nap less....We all help one another stay faithful to higher awareness, to be sure!
i think a spiritual life is a choice... it is naturally full of times of expansion and contraction... we may go through periods of differing levels of awareness, much like the ebb and flow of the tides... windows open when we have experiences of great spiritual meaning and intensity, and those windows naturally close back down again... but always leaving the heart a little bit more open than it was before... i also think for the most part awareness is something that is cultivated over time with a great deal of practice... and practice requires a level of devotion (as well as awareness in itself)... so, can you go back to sleep again?... probably yes, i think you can... if it is the choice to do so...
Dearest Joanne,
I appreciate your perspective here. I think, as you say, the key is making sure we keep our heart open, even letting the ebb and flow of spiritual life to open it a little wider each time. Never, hopefully, to shut off completely. I maintain the belief that are many levels of awakening, many of which we may have no knowledge of until we leave this life as we have come to know it....Such is the Mystery of how and why things are as they are. :-) Blessings!
Oh oh oh oh oh I am soooo excited thank you hon!! Whoot ...whoo hoo happy dancin'!! Hugs, Sarah
LOL was so excited about the book...geesh! Yes I think it is very normal to have periods of "falling asleep". I think sometimes when we are going through huge growth we may need a brief sleep. I guess the key for me is to remember to be present..which is a challenge. I have gone through this..faded and then snapped out of it. I find daily practice of some sort helps me to stay focused on my path. I do Reiki on myself in the am and in the evening..it really helps me regroup and stay present in my day. Wonderful, thought provoking post hon, Sarah
I like the nap idea... We learn and love and sometimes put away our knowledge for a while. It's fallen off the hanger and lies on the closet floor unnoticed for a while... until we need it again and look and look and there it is! We find it again and put it on... and proudly wear it once again. Great post Jan. You always inspire..... Love and Light, Nina P
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