Day 3: Meditation Challenge — How to Focus When Wild Mind Grabs Hold
Welcome, to my 28-Meditation Challenge. If you have joined us late, that is just fine. If you'd like to "officially" join in, simply leave a comment here that says, "I'm in!" and I will add you to the Challenge Roster. Or, send me an e-mail through the Contact Box at my website: awakenedliving.com. We are glad you are here!
Day 3: How to Focus When Wild Mind Grabs Hold
We have all been plagued on occasion with “busy mind.” I know I was last night. After a long day at the computer, my mind was full to overflowing with words and images and my body was abuzz with electronic energy.
How about you? Are you struggling to settle down in meditation? If you are, remember this.
Thoughts, by their very nature, will always rush in, to the tune of 60,000 thoughts per day. Some will cause overwhelm and stress. Others will linger and create any number of disempowering emotions: anger, despair, jealousy, frustration, and more. In time, out-of-control thoughts and emotions will take their toll upon us. It is up to us to create a new relationship with our thoughts; to become pro-active and determine how much we are willing to be run by them.
I often think of my thoughts as a wild dog. Sometimes she lays peacefully beside me while I go about my day. More often than not, though, she hears something, sniffs something. She jumps up, now on alert, looking this way and that, poised to charge off. She wears a leash and so I gently reach down to pick it up. I reassure her with gentle words that all is well. But that doesn't suffice.
Off she goes! Running now. Running like a wild dog down the sidewalk of my mind. And I am still hanging on to the leash, being dragged right along with her. Now there is no way I can get her to stop. I'm no longer in charge. The wild dog of my thoughts is running me. "I," calm me, is gone ...
Focusing and Concentration
Focusing is one of the very best ways to corral a wild mind. By consciously bringing our thoughts to a center point, we can begin to take charge of them and slow their pace.
To help us focus, we can use a mantra—a sacred word or phrase whose timbre and tone reminds us of our innate well-being. We can use a candle, a beautiful flower, an image, an element in nature, a scripture, a rosary—anything that we can hold on to, literally, or with our imagination—when the wild dog of our thoughts lures us away.
Begin by centering yourself, breathing in and breathing out, deeply and evenly.
Focus on the word or object.
When thoughts arise, simply return your attention to the word or object.
Breathe.
In meditation, we do this process over and over again. We do it until there is a gap, a place of stillness to be found. This place of stillness may last for seconds or minutes. In time, we experience greater stillness and less thinking.
Remember focusing is a practice that takes practice! Focusing exercises are about retraining the mind. It is about "turning the mind into an ally," as Buddhist teacher Sakyong Mipham writes. His work is wonderful (easy to understand on all levels by all seekers). I highly recommend this book.
Focusing/concentration leads to not only quieting the mind, but gentling our attitude toward this busy mind. The practice is about retraining, yes, but also cultivating patience for ourselves. Befriending ourselves. Developing lovingkindness and compassion, too. Doing so takes time, concentration, and dedication.
Ultimately, single-pointed concentration will bring us home to the peace we desire. Practice on! May your meditation time today be blessed!
So, how is your meditation practice going so far?
I'd love to hear ...
Peace,
Jan
Read on ...
From Where I Sit — Day 3, My Meditation ExperienceI began my "evening detox" routine early. Computer off. A nice soak in a steamy tub. Read some poetry penned by a dear friend. I was still feeling "buzzy" inside from all the computer work. I opted to head to the bedroom to use a guided meditation.
I received an iPod for Christmas so I've downloaded several guided meditations for ease of use. Guided meditations predictably help me focus, concentrate, then release all thinking. Last night I used "Healing Waterfall II" narrated by Jill Andre, music by Max Highstein. This is an older recording but I like it because it takes me through a guided journey of color and sound, then ends with many minutes of ambient music so you can drift off to sleep if you like. It worked wonders last night ...
Today, after I get my college-aged daughter out the door and back to school, I plan to sit with my mala beads. I will let you know how that goes.
Recommended Resources:
DharmaSeed.org. Give yourself a real treat and visit this site, chock full of FREE "dharma" talks presented in the Vipassana tradition. Some of the greatest teachers in the world today have housed their teachings there—on meditation and more. From 45 minutes to 7-day retreats, take your pick. Sylvia Boorstein, Jack Kornfield, Sharon Salzberg, et. al. I download them to my computer and burn them onto CDs to listen to in the car when I travel. Now that I have an iPod I can take them with me wherever I go. Portable peace! If you are feeling especially grateful for the talks, you can make a donation—dana—of your choosing. Doing so, keeps the site going and the talks flowing. Enjoy.
Inspiration:
As the pace and complexity of life expand exponentially, the need to experience the ocean of calm increases. No single technique is enough. The velocity and intensity of our lives require a range of different tools to help us remain focused and enlivened. While meditation will not solve the cause of stress, it powerfully deals with the symptoms.
~Mark Thornton
Meditation in a New York Minute: Super Calm for the Super Busy (Sounds True, 2004)
(Dog image courtesy of muttrunner.buckeyeoutdoors.com)
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48 comments:
I love your yapping dog image. Mine is a monkey, sometimes screeching, "Ooh ooh, aah aah", and sometimes just swinging around, seldom still.
This morning I was visited by another judgment. It said I should be around more for my daughter, as there are a few Sundays this month when I am either with dharma sisters, at Spirit Rock, or working.
I never really understood the breath as an anchor point till recently. It works well if I can infuse it with trust and strength. Alone, it will just blow around like the wind. With gentle and kind determination, it is my fortress against all those doubting voices.
It also helps when I am loving and remind myself that there is no standard of comparison. What is a good mom anyway?
I also realized that listening to music on the elliptical machine this morning was a kind of meditation in that I was inspired to be with each moment, each verse sung to music.
Jan, you have a whole following. This is AWESOME.
Jan dear,
I recognize that wild dog! She is a busy girl, running from house to house, mind to mind...dragging us all about! This morning the combination of the constant whirring/humming of our pellet stove and my breath became my anchors as my thoughts dashed about. I tried something unusual...I typed my experience in real time as it was happening...with my eyes closed...interesting. I shared this on my blog this morning. I will sit again later...and not type...just be.
Mermaid...I love your question..."What is a good mom anyway?"
I like the way you frame this...it does not sound like blame or judgment in this form...simply curiosity...so much better than "Am I a good mom?"...Asked the second way it is like the wild dog for me...and she has definitely dragged me around...not very helpful.
I will try on your question for size next time doubt around my mothering skill sets in...probably sometime later today!!!
Thank you for mentioning my guided meditation, The Healing Waterfall II, Janice. I'm very glad it has been helpful to you! -- Max Highstein.
Mermaid,
Yes, another bold awareness. I appreciate how you say infusing your breath with trust and strength makes a difference for you. That is a wonderful technique and I am glad you shared it. The ego is very wiley. It loves to continue to tell us all that we are missing, failing it, etc. I do not believe we can ever get to the bottom of this. The ego is wired to keep delivering so it will get attention. Truly, the more gentle we are the better. The more we just label messages as "messages," the healthier and happier we are.
I also believe the ego sends very strong MOM messages. The ego strikes our Achilles heel, whatever that might be. Doing so successfully keeps us small, ineffectual and powerless. The ego will always want to be right, to be top dog. Better to notice and let go than keep digging into a bottomless pit. Even laugh at it when appropriate. Humor is a bucket of water on a "Wicked Witch of the West" ego. My view anyway...
Love yourself and be well. May we all....
Laura,
You too, eh? I will pop over and take a peek at your writing. Sounds like a very good idea to me...
I appreciate your kind words to Kaveri (Mermaid). Those of us who are conscientious mothers will always struggle with "not being enough" to our children, don't you think? May your day be peace and love-filled! xo
Dear Max,
What a wonderful surprise to see your presence here. :-) I am very happy to be able to recommend your work to others. Your albums are beautiful (I have many). Thank you for the soulful work you do to promote inner peace in others. Blessings! Jan
Dear Readers (and Max, again)
Please check out Max Highsteen's website:www.maxhighstein. com. You will be so happy you did. I apologize for not referencing it in the post previously. (I will correct that, Max.) His work is marvelous as a spiritual counselor, guide and gifted musician and there are many wonderful offerings of guided meditations there. His albums are lovely. I have many...
I was double delighted to find a guided meditation there for accessing Mother Mary. As many of you know from reading my book ("Your Truest Self"), she is "my gal." I now know what I will be doing this afternoon for meditation, along with my beads! I can hardly wait....Talk about Holy Synchronicity. :-)
Thank you again, Max, for stopping by and opening up a new world of meditation for us. Blessings!
Jan, I am new to meditation and I am just thrilled about this challenge. Yesterday, I closed my office door for just a few moments to breath. What a difference it made in the rest of day. What a blessing.
Usually, the first thing I do each morning at work is to turn on the radio. This morning I decided not to turn it on and just be mindful and aware without the distraction. It gave me such a renewed sense of calmness in my very stressful day. When I thought I needed the thump, thump of the music, I gently brought myself back to awareness of being calm and letting go of the stress. Thank you Jan. I look forward to all your posts.
~Marie
I simply recall the great Beatles song and "Let it Be", let it be, there will the an answer....
peace out
donovan
fromnowtozen.com
Wow, Jan, how did you know that I had a touch of wild mind this morning. Every time my mind started acting up I would repeat "peace" over and over. So basically I said "peace" a LOT. May not have experienced much quiet meditation, but I still feel the peace. I love doing this perfectly imperfect. Happy meditating!
I had an interesting meditation experience...and not at all traditional.
I did my meditation during a spinning class. For 1 hour I kept my eyes closed...only following the fast beat of the music and feeling my body move. I focused on my breath. I had one recurring thought creeping in...a thought that's been with me for awhile and does not like to leave. So I just invited the thought in. Telling it to keep quiet in the corner. It worked for the most part but would appear again and I will tell it go back to the corner. But for a good 30 minutes I lost myself in the beat and my mantra was "focus...focus...focus...focus."
I had images of Native Indians dancing. I thought that was kind of cool. I almost felt like I was in a dancing trance...if that makes any sense.
All in all the purpose was served...to quiet the mind. And surprisingly, even will the loud fast music...my mind was pretty quiet.
I would like to sit and meditate first thing in the morning, however, it just isn't happening for me. My mornings are filled with the busy-ness of getting myself and my animals ready for the day ahead.
That seems to be the point at which I continue to stumble over making the time to meditate.
So, today, I visited the ladies room at work and while I was there, I thought...hmmm...why not just spend a little extra time in here and do a quick little meditation. The door was closed, I could hear music coming from the gallery outside, a few voices. I sat quietly & relaxed on the closed toilet seat lid (too much information...?) and steadying my breath, I went through a quick 'cycle', descending through the colours of the rainbow.
I find I'm being more conscious of my breathing and am incorporating that into my daily walk on a more regular, consistent basis.
I like Caroline's experience while exercising. Your visuals were very clear and may just be the inspiration I need to get out there and start running again. You've reminded me that it has, in the past, been a form of meditation for me, as well.
Blessings,
Carolynn
Carolyn...not a bad idea to sit in the ladies room actually.
I am realizing that you can meditate anywhere. I meditate in the car a lot. I drive the kids around so much...so I always have some good meditative CD's (chakra healing and my favorite is a OM chant). I just pop it in and zone out for a few minutes while waiting.
Hi Jan,
I did it! I meditated today for the first time in a very, very long time. I started with five minutes. I breathed in and out a little loudly in the beginning just to keep my focus on the breath and not random thoughts. This will be a fun journey. Thanks again for starting the challenge. I really do hope meditating becomes a daily habit for me.
I am learning much from everyone's comments. This morning my mind was much noisier than yesterday. The wild dog analogy is so apt--I have a real life intense dog which prompts me to take your image one step further: just as a dog, no matter how well trained, will still often test its leader (as if to say,"just checking!"), I imagine my monkey-dog mind will be sure to reappear from time to time to let me know it is still there and that meditation is a process. (Of course at this point my monkey-dog mind hasn't 'reappeared' because it has yet to disappear!--I'm still in puppy kindergarten with this dog!)
oxox Rebecca (Jan, you may add my name to the "commit to sit" challenge list--thanks.)
Mazar,
Oh, such important realizations right away! That you can access quiet moments of meditation wherever you are, even at the office in a few short minutes. Wonderful! And then the discovery that no noise in the morning sets a whole different tone for the day. Yes, it does. This is one of my tried and true beliefs and practices. I will talk about this more in a post soon. The activities we engage in the first 30 minutes upon waking and determine the timbre and tone of the day. Congratulations!
Donovan,
A man after my own heart. It's amazing how often a Beatle's lyric will come into my mind, clearing a pathway....Welcome, Donovan.
Jill,
It sounds like you took very good care of you by saying "Peace" as your mantra. Excellent! BE gone, wild mind. :-)
Hello,
I found you via mommymystic.
My meditation this morning looked like sitting on my bench while my three-year-old came in and curled up with me, and then left, and then came back, and then left and then yelled out, "I need to poop in the potty!" So I took some time to go with him and help him and then I sat again.
This time, the kids played on their own while I sat and breathed and watched my busy-busy mind. Funny, since the new year, my mind is so much more buzzy.
I practice mainly insight meditation, though I sometimes, as you share in this post, use a mantra to help me concentrate. That can help center me.
And then I go through the busyness of my day, trying any mindfulness techniques that will help bring me to the present moment! :)
I love your idea for the challenge and am grateful for the resources you provide. Thank you!
Blessings,
Stacy
I have definetely had a busy mind this week and have had trouble settling down but, last night and today I have felt myself calming down a bit. I know it is because I have been meditating every day. I guess I didn't realize how far off center I had gotten recently.
My mantra is a quartz crystal...actually several. I pick each one up before a session & choose the one that "feels" right. It really does help me focus.
I love ambient music/sounds like rain or the beach...and I also sometimes use a guided meditation cd.
Ah, the wild dog mind happens to me a lot during my meditation, this post was very helpful and tomorrow I shall focus :-).
Caroline,
Your experience does sound fascinating. It does sound similar to a trance, with rhythm, movement and sound taking over to clear the mind. (Remember the whirling dervishes?) I am glad that it served you well today!
Carolynn,
Very wise of you to take time during the day, knowing that your morning routine is not the optimal time for meditation. To me, this is the whole point of developing a meditation practice, to be mindful and aware—highly conscious—during the waking moments of everyday life. Our life becomes a "walking meditation," if you will. At least that is what I lean toward (intend to create) and is affirmed by my teacher. And, yes, exercise can also create a sort of meditative state. Sounds like you are doing great!
Jodi,
Welcome! Hooray for even 5 minutes of meditation. I like how you chose to make your breath "loud." Ujai (sp.?) breathing in yoga makes a powerful sound. It does keep the mind alert, yet relaxed. May tomorrow be just as successful for you.
Rebecca,
I just added your name to the list. :-) Oh, those dogs can be so untrainable it seems. But with time and patience, miracles can occur. I like your idea of kindergarten. Too cute! Thank you for sharing. :-) We are all learning...
Stacy,
Welcome! I concur that Insight Meditation has been the most helpful for me too. :-) Your faithfulness to trying to meditate is dear, esp. with little ones who need immediate attention. Mindfulness is the path I try to walk as well. If you want to read a neat quote on how meditation embraces both mindfulness and concentration (effort) check out Day 1 of the Challenge. Scroll down to the bottom. Ideally, I think this is the balance we work toward.
Liz (Cherokeefox),
Tis true that if we have been moving quickly for days, weeks, months, or years, it does take time to re-establish a slower, more intentional rhthym. I am glad that you are starting to feel the effects. The use of the crystal sounds most interesting and obviously helpful to you. Enjoy!
Annie,
So glad this was helpful to you. May we befriend those wild dogs and be firm but gentle with them...
Jan,
I not only had "wild mind" I had "wild life". While writing my morning pages this morning I realized how busy my life has become the past few days--and I think it directly correlates to my desire to meditate. Busyness can be a "powerful" excuse. So, I decided to use your meditation at work. While walking down the halls between departments, breathe repeat God is breathing me. Alternating inflections with each word until it settled. Releasing. And the timing was Divine because work drama today between staff was tremendous, so meditation was excellent to calm my mind and peacefully enter dialogue. I think for this one day I "outwit" busyness :)
I can see it is an inner battle to keep moving forward because I may uncover something new. Or maybe that is my expectation creating the outcome, I'm trying to let that go. Perhaps this is not about creating something new as I "fear" but about sitting with what already is. Oh yeah:)
Thank you so much for providing this forum. I would still be in my hesitant stage if it weren't for you!
My dog has been a bit wild today, I think he got into the dark chocolate. Then tangled uo in some briars.
But that was earlier today. When I felt most frenzied I exercised and that was just what I needed. If I meditate tonight it will be as I drift off to sweet sweet sleep, feeling a but "jet-lagged" from having to get up early again for the school schedule.
Good night!
xo
Fantastic post!
The wild dog was so perfectly apt!
My mind is more like a toddler. It wants my attention to go here and there and there. So I take the toddler gently by the hand and say, "No, no, sweetie, right now we are focusing on the breath." Gently I lead it back to the breath. Over. And over. And over.
Joy,
I love how you turned wild dog days into mindful moments. A sign of increasing awareness and skillfulness, for sure! Keep on keepin' on. I am cheering you on, truly!
Your inner noticings as always are grand. Fear is nothing more than the ego trying to keep us small and ineffectual (sometimes safe...but usually wounded). My father always said, "You must do what you think you cannot do." Often, I think I just cannot meditate. I am too busy! But then when I reframe it into simple breathing or mindful moments that ego/fear/avoidance voice disappears. Breathe on!
Jannie,
Oh, I love your doggie description. Breath on...I do think getting back into a school routine with little ones can be really exhausting. Be kind to yourself, OK. Go gently into the night.
Mama Zen,
Thank you, for stopping by and the nice comment. Let the dogs bark. May we pay them no heed. :-)
The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain. ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
i find it is not my thoughts that are the problem... it is my resistance to my thoughts that is the problem... for resistance means i am clinging to my thoughts and giving them more attention... thoughts will flow in and they will flow out... the trick for me is to let them flow by me without grabbing hold of them...
Wow, what wonderful community and comments here! I don't have much to add that hasn't already been said...I will say that I have found it helpful to think of meditation less as quieting my thoughts than shifting my awareness from one 'room' to another...in other words, to remember that the quiet is already there, underneath the 'noise' - it's the movie screen the mind is playing on..so that's always there, and in meditation I am just trying to become aware of it...so even in the busiest meditation, the quiet is always there, between thoughts, underneath them, in the midst of them too...letting go of the 'either-or' - my mind is either quiet OR noisy, helps release the resistance i think....
Beautiful post, Jan.
I feel like MommyMystic in that there is a part of me that is always quiet and full. It just takes a bit of focusing or forgetting about the busy mind to get me to come home to that "true self".
I totally relate to the monkey mind, yapping dog image. But I don't "do" anything to it except keep focusing on my technique of meditation and letting go. It's a benign ignoring of thoughts—sometimes more determined than compassionate.
Oh yes, please add me!
jchristin- I just want to share with you that something you said in your post really struck me as very powerful words. You mentioned the "expectation of creating the outcome" and just "sitting with what already is". And I thought " THAT'S IT!!" I have such an expection of my meditation of what will be or should be instead of what just is. It was what I like to call an AH HA moment. Thank you for your post. ~Marie
Kikipotamus,
I love your technique! Gently leading somewhere else--back to the breath--like a child with her beloved child. Wonderful.
Joanne,
You've nailed it! Resistance is the big bugger that causes the problem. And we know (right?) that what we resist, persists. Let go, and it loses it emotional charge. Wise words, lovely one...Glad you are here. :-)
Lisa (MM),
You have given us another powerful metaphor and image to work with. The ever-present movie playing...do we need to watch, lose ourselves in it, allow it to predominate. No. You demonstrate that beautifully. :-) I've got you up as a resident "expert" now. Hope you don't mind. xo
Hello Jan
I'm so glad you too experience the "buzzy" feeling from the computer work. I enjoy my work (which being a web designer, is a good thing!) but like you I find it completely fills my brain and whole being. And worse, it is unsatisfying in the way that I never feel "full" but my ego always seems to crave more - just that one more blog post, just that one more image to manipulate. It makes it hard to stop and let go. But I'm learning to call a definite halt and turn the machine off thus breaking the link for a while.
Having said that, without these machines I wouldn't have connected with you or the lovely resources you are providing. The web provides us with lovely things but I suppose its like the child in the sweet shop - we need to know when to stop :-)
Rosemarie
I would love to join the challenge! This sounds like a great way to make 2010 different!
Michelle
Rosemarie,
I am glad I am not alone with the buzzing. A dear intuitive friend of mind said that putting smoky quartz near the computer or on your desk helps with this. I really need to try it. :-) You make a good point about the addictive nature of blogging and computer work--how it can keep us going like Eveready Bunnies with no respite. So important for us to step away, breathe, stretch, engage with nature, etc. It does have its blessings though...(wink)
Michelle,
Welcome! I am a firm believe that we can make ourselves and our lives anew each day. Enjoy your time here.
I'm in!!
I'm so excited tp start the challenge. Thank you
Chelli,
Welcome! Glad you are here and I have added your name to the Roster. You may want to read back through all the posts so you are spot on with the rest of us. Though we can always begin where we are...
I read and loved this, and am contemplating jumping in late to the meditation challenge. Hmm, will I do it?!! (Inquiring minds!)
I absolutely love Dharma Seed and have downloaded many great Salzberg talks from it. I also appreciated your reminder for us to be gentle with ourselves when our minds go astray (which is what they're bound to do --- like a toddler wandering off to explore something when a mother isn't looking).
I'm excited to see how this challenge unfolds for everyone. Meditate on!
Megan,
Do feel free to jump in if you like. Many are joining late and there is still plenty of time. I based this on a 21-Day habit changing principle. With 28-days, we will have plenty of room to grow. Glad to know you like Dharma Seed too. :-) Your toddler image is a good one! Blessings...
As soon as I read the yapping dog image, I thought, "I have a hamster mind." Many of the same thoughts, around and around on the wheel. That's always been my hang up with meditation-I've never been able to quiet my mind, and so thought that meditation was something I just wasn't able to do. One of the things I'm learning from this challenge is that I'm definitely not alone in what I've thought and felt. It's so helpful to not only have your guidance, Jan, but to read what has worked for others as well.
Hugs all around! -- Joni
Joni,
Hamster wheel mind is a good description. If we can just focus on one thing (breath is the easiest, I think) and when those hamsters start running, notice it, return to the breath, and begin again. It's not rocket science. Just a practice. :-) Keep on keepin' on. Hugs back!
When my runaway thoughts start to get the best of me, breathe..... I do so love the meditations you gave links too. guided meditations help to keep me focused and relax... There is a Peace and tranquility to letting go... Love and Light, Nina P
Nina,
Glad you found these helpful. I, too, like to use guided meditations when my thoughts are being wild dogs or horses, some yapping, some running! (LOL). I really believe that in the early stages, whatever works is really appropriate. Hugs!
Good morning Jan! I have to say, knowing that you are checking in on me is a motivator to get myself on the cushion every morning, so thank you!
I too loved your "yapping dog" and have always used the phrase "monkey mind" until I saw Jundo's blender video. It is a perfect example of what I go through. Quieting the mind with three small children is no easy fete! But I am determined....
April, I am glad to be supporting you in this way. I will continue to check in with you as I can. If I forget, shoot me an email through the contact box at my website (awakenedliving.com) and I will get with the program!
I am glad that you are finding ways to navigate busy mindedness. Whatever metaphor works for you - monkey, dogs, horses. :-)
Just checking in and wanting to say not only do I appreciate your posts Jan, but I am finding all the comments helpful as well.
I wasn't able to meditate today, but I tried to be very mindful of my children today. It turned out to be an excellent day.
Day 3...report...20 minutes in. What I would like to be able to do is come to meditation at the same time every day Would that be more effective ?
Another thing I would love is to "shut-up" that yapping wild dog of mine too...guess we all have one of those...mine barks the most at night ...
I live alone, so "he" takes advantage of my "calm" moments to start destroying my peace...
Simonne,
Yes, regular timing is very helpful. It begins to discipline the mind. When the wild dog or horse mind kicks in, returning to breath as a touchpoint or meditating on a visual is helpful. The wild dog will always be there. It is really about not allowing it to be the focus - let something else be that. We are retraining ourselves. Future lessons will talk about this. :-) Keep on keepin' on!
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