Waking Up to Life
The story of Rip Van Winkle always intrigued me.
This is the story of a man who fell asleep for many years and awakened to strange goings on, unfamiliar sights and sounds. As I speak with people today, I witness them reporting a similar circumstance. They feel like they are “waking up.”
Like Rip Van Winkle, they have a sudden realization that their life is not what they think it is, or going where they believe it should. It is as if they have been given a new set of eyeglasses through which to view their lives. Or, as in the fairy tale, they're awakened from a deep slumber of unconsciously lived days and nights. Life crisis often does this for us; boldly shakes us, wakes us up, through personal tragedy, the loss of a relationship, loved one or job, a health challenge. Any one of these can jolt us from our metaphorical life sleep to find ourselves, like Rip, looking about in bewilderment asking, “What happened?”
Once we have awakened, naturally we wonder how we are to live. The landscape has changed and new rules seem to apply. Establishing some self-evident truths can be helpful—truisms of "How Life Works." Buoyed by their wisdom, we can find comfort and courage for the journey ahead—the journey to live in a more awakened manner.
Truth #1: We are each responsible for our own lives.
This truth brings with it a flurry of emotions. If I awaken to realize that it is me, and me alone, who is responsible for my life, then fear and worry may set in. We may become trapped in paralyzing thoughts of: ‘What if I make the wrong choices?’ ‘What if I make mistakes?’ From this perspective, self-responsibility may feel too difficult to accept. Self-responsibility is a truth that many of us refuse to acknowledge because it is much easier to live our lives blaming others, blaming the world, even blaming God. More simple to assign responsibility elsewhere, especially our pain and sorrow, or the consequences of poor choice-making.
On the other hand, this truth can also bring relief and newfound freedom. I love the quote, "If it's to be, it's up to me!" There is tremendous power in knowing that we can choose how we think, feel, and behave. We can choose how to earn a living, who to associate with, and more. When I am in charge and take full responsibility for my life, the world is mine. I have life by the tail and I can create my own reality.
Truth #2: There are no mistakes and no wrong roads to take.
Every decision we make brings us to greater awareness of our truest selves. Every choice that is made invites us to look more deeply at who we really are. Through these choices we discover our values, the timbre of our character, our strengths and weaknesses, our gifts and talents. Viewed in this light, there is no such thing as a right or wrong road to take. Every road can lead us to a more complete version of ourselves.
Think about it for a moment. Ask yourself, ‘What is one of the greatest mistakes I have ever made?’ Then ask yourself what you learned from that experience. How have you become a better person from having walked through it? As long as we can reflect upon our experiences along the way, paying close attention to what they have to teach us, we will continue to grow in confidence and character. Mistakes are for learning.
Truth #3: There is a bigger picture, a higher order at work in our lives.
I also love the saying, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." We may not always know why we are being asked to experience certain circumstances, but the fact remains, we are. If we can flow with what we are given, the lemonade we create from the stock of our lives can be nourishing. On the other hand, we can continue to squeeze too hard, hoping to get orange juice out of all those lemons and block our growth. We have been given these lemons for a reason.
As human beings we may not have the capacity to see into the future. We may not be able to look down from on high to observe where each twist and turn might take us. Instead, trust is in order. Trust, that where we are being led is perfect for our growth. Trust, that we are supported by earthly and heavenly companions. Trust, that, in time, we will move through any difficulty with grace and ease.
Embracing truths such as these can deliver us to the next grandest version of ourselves. "Waking up" is a tremendous gift provided by an ever-loving Universe that desires each of us to be happy, to live with joy. The choice is ours whether to slumber on at the base of the tree like Rip Van Winkle, or open our eyes and greet the dawn of a new reality with the spirit of willingness and hope.
(Image courtesy of http://sleepfoundation.ning.com)


18 comments:
I am usually vibrantly, joyfully awake, although I sometimes feel as if I've fallen back to sleep for a "nap". An indication I'm avoiding something out of fear...
Each point is so very true. The one I think most people have a hard time applying grace to is about mistakes--there truly are no mistakes, each step is necessary even if it is painful, maybe especially if it is painful. My greatest lessons have come from some of the hardest moments, ones when I was in I wish I could take back, but in hindsight I wouldn't change at all.
Life is absolutely amazing and I find if we skip a step, life has a way of taking us back to learn the lesson to move us forward.
I also see in myself that sometimes I am hesitant to be fully awake-- to fully embrace, enjoy, celebrate. Each moment is precious and it's my choice to embrace or discard it. I try to live in such a way that there is Faith and Grace to embrace it all....
Jan what great reminders you give all who follow. I'm remembering back when you made the move from Grand Haven. Even though time is an illusion it still flies;)
I love the mantra you gave Jay. Believe, breathe and be well. Can I borrow that one too?!?
Ha Joy that's funny. I think we all fall back asleep for a nap sometimes. LOL
I would have to say NOT taking responsibility for our lives would be mistake but I think the universe keeps at us until we do. I want gentle lessons forget about a bang over the head for me.
I was nodding in agreement as I read your words, Jan. My deepest desire has been to take responsibility for my life, have faith in the path I am on, and trust that I will be okay whatever happens... and to do these things before a life crisis forces my hand. I would rather pay attention to the nudges along the way than to have the wind knocked out of me. But just wanting it does not make it so. Waking up is hard to do and it takes work ~ praying, reading, slowing down, paying attention, and learning from the wisdom of others. I have made progress, thanks in part to women like you who graciously share the lessons from your own journey. In the end, it's up to me to use what I learn to wake up to my life.
I definitely feel like I am in the process of waking up. Don't yet see where it may take me but am trying to cultivate patience...trying....:)
is it any wonder that we often put these two words together
rude awakening
it can feel abrupt, untimely, and a shock to the system when we get the jolts most often required to stir us from our slumber
A beautiful post,Jan!
Such profound truths to always remember that everything happens for the good .when we us ask ourselves what now? instead of why me? when faced with a problem should help us!
Blessings for abundance,
sema
I love the Rip Van Winkle story. I've been waking up for a while now, and sometimes catch myself falling back to sleep. But I keep pinching myself :-)
Of all the lessons you've listed here, this one resonated the most:
Truth #2: There are no mistakes and no wrong roads to take. This is of great comfort to me when I beat myself up for things I've done "wrong" or when I've missed the mark.
You're so right. Those "mistakes" help us grow and learn.
Hi Jan,
The beauty about waking up is that it begins a journey that enables us to see how beautiful and powerful the human experience can be.
Many people think that once they awaken, the learning ends. Actually, in my opinion, I think that is when things get really interesting and where wisdom can be attained.
There are no mistakes and everything happens for a reason. One of my personal mantras that I have had for many years is that when life hands you lemons, forget lemonade, take those lemons and make lemon creme pie! :)
Hope all is well with you! Namaste!
Hi Jan -- what came up for me as I read this was how acknowledging my responsibility for what's going on for me can actually be a fun way to play the game of life, if you will. It's detective work for me -- trying to figure out how I'm unconsciously creating certain situations and gradually gaining the power of choice over them.
It can be very easy for me to fret about past events, how I could have done things differently. The beauty of a new day, a new moment, is that I (and all of you out there) get to try again. When I get stuck in a negative rut, it helps to balance this with gratitude, for any little and bifg thing present in my life. It offers a larger and balanced perspective.
How's the bodhi tree??
Hi Jan .. thank you - I certainly am going through that process now and know that life is changing for me because I have had to move on.
We do things when we're ready .. and sometimes we need a jolt & then the universe allows us to repair ourselves, while improving our situation as we go forward.
I love everyone's comments - it's our life, our responsibility, .. it it's going to be = it's up to me: is so true.
Thank you so much .. all the best - Hilary
nice post, nice story
Joy,
You certainly are not alone with struggling around the mistakes issue. It's normal to wonder why and what we could have differently. (I know I sure have.) But then, once time passes, such perspective is found and we will likely see that what we just went through we HAD to go through to arrive at this place of knowing. May we all let go of the struggle around that. :-)
Anonymous,
I like that mantra too. I came to me long ago and has served me well: "Believe, breathe, and be well." Thanks for your sweet comments. Sometimes perhaps we need a little nap?
Sharon,
I, too, would love it if we all could be nudged instead of shoved, but such does not seem to be the nature of being human. :-) We are stubborn at best...so sure we can figure everything out and that we know exactly what is best for us. It seems to be a co-creative stance is best. We each do our part (choose wisely) and surrender the outcome. It does bring ease....
Rochelle,
Well as I understand it, there are stages of awakening. I'm sure you are "awake." I recall years ago thinking how awake I was. Now when I look back on that time I think I must have been sleepwalking! Yes, patience and gentleness to self are so key. :-)
Kel,
Oh, thank you for that reminder. I love it. "Rude awakening," it does ring true, doesn't it?
Sema,
Yes, a powerful perspective. I love how you phrase it, "What now?" It does take the victimhood out of it and place it in the lap of personal responsibility.
Cindy,
Me too. I don't know where I first heard, perhaps the line from a children's song, but it said, "Mistakes are for learning." This perspective takes the "wrongness" out it, for sure...
Nadia,
I'll join you in a big helping of lemon pie. That sounds great and not only practical, but delicious. I appreciate your perspective that when we awaken, the journey really begins. And what a journey it is. I wouldn't trade mine for the world....Would you?
Chris,
I'm with you. It does often feel like a game that we can navigate, investigate further, and craft to be much more meaningful. Though I also believe there is much mystery woven through all of it of "how" all this comes together. "Interbeingness" (as Thich Nhat Hanh would say) fascinated me.
Waking up can certainly be a challenge at times. It's so much more cozy to snuggle into a comfy sleep than to be awake and fully responsible for one's choices. I just posted a blog update myself that speaks about choosing to a more genuine, authentic life by making choices that are right for me. Seems that I was on a similar wavelength as your "Waking up ..." post. It's always so insightful to come, read, and find peace, comfort and wisdom with you, Jan.
Mermaid,
You put wise words to this struggle we often find ourselves in. Maintaining balance, offering up gratitude, does seem to shift things toward equanimity. Hugs!
Hilary,
I love what you say here, about the universe inviting us to repair ourselves. Beautifully put! May today bring you ease...
Imhhk,
Thank you! Be well...
Rose,
I appreciate how you notice that it could be much easier to sleepwalk through life. (Perhaps even less painful, on some levels?) But oh, the joys once we do break through. xo to you. I will check out your post on this..
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