Your Muchness
My college-aged daughter was home recently and we spent some quality mother-daughter time together. One of our favorite things to do is have a "girls movie night," complete with jammies, cozy blankets, and a big bowl of popcorn.
The movie was her choice, Tim Burton's, "Alice in Wonderland."
Now I am not a huge Tim Burton fan but I thought, hey, why not. Plus, I knew the story of Alice's journey through the looking glass to be a tale of mythical and mystical proportions—a heroine's journey, Joseph Campbell style. Not unlike Dorothy's journey to Oz. Layers and layers of symbolism, metaphor, and meaning are there which speak to our quest for (and into) our truest selves.
This is a journey each of us must take. Though most of us have more ordinary journeys. We do not encounter talking white rabbits or queens who lop their subjects' heads off with flamingos. But there are perils to be faced on every quest, lessons to be learned, most of which are not at all easy.
One particular scene in the movie really spoke to my heart. Alice had successfully arrived (in tact) in this oddly populated land only to be greeted by characters who proclaimed she was not the "real Alice." The caterpillar proclaimed that she was "not hardly Alice." Apparently (news to her!) she had been there before and had been a force to be reckoned with. No one knew this Alice. This Alice appeared timid and unsure of herself. Lost. Alice became even more confused upon learning this.
Finally, the caterpillar (or was it the White Rabbit, I am not sure who) said to her, "You have lost your muchness."
As I watched the scene unfold, my heart went out to this dear girl whose "curiouser and curiouser" choices got her into a heap of trouble, least of which was learning she had been designated as the one to slay a terrifying flying monster, the Jabberwocky.
Yes, she, the one who had lost her muchness, was going to have to go up against the "beast."
This line, "You have lost your muchness," has stuck with me. I've pondered it often since then, wondering—what is my muchness?
And have I lost it? Do I need to find it again? Hmmm ....
I've really had fun playing with this metaphor and wonder if you might like to join me.
What is your muchness, and have you lost it, or does it just disappear at times?
Is it an attitude, spirit quality, or skill?
And what might "the beast" be for you?
I would love to hear about your muchness...
I'll let you know about mine in the Comments section.
This is fun! Thanks for playing along.
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25 comments:
I have a sense that I have many muchnesses, as do each of us. But I will speak to one.
My muchness on any given day can be my Equanimity—-my sense of balance and ease with what is. Because I am a sensitive person I can get "thrown off my game" rather easily. Before I know it I can find myself in overwhelm. Overwhelm would be my "beast."
Knowing this, if I am in my muchness, I have dropped into my "center," or accessed any number of tools in my spiritual tool belt to get to their, then my muchness is restored. I allow my day to unfold with ease and trust that everything that needs to get done will get done. The beast of overwhelm has been sent packing, and I am at ease with my day as it unfolds.
Can't wait to hear yours!
With love, J
Jan – This line stayed with me after the movie. I ponder it and then let it go only to find the idea popping back into my life. I am not sure what my muchness is – I have thought that maybe it is my creativity as I always have ideas, the ability to play, to imagine, to dream, to let go and just “do” whatever comes forth… and yet, right now, as I type, perhaps my muchness is something else? My friends comment as to the way I face life with grace. I am not sure what exactly that means. I have a tendency to find compassion and acceptance internally even when there is a part of me that wants to fight – a tendency to know the Corse I will travel all along even though I need to work through the other options with my mind and words… and that path is most always one of grace, compassion, and acceptance.
Muchness… it is that little thing that gives us our spark or that lives within us and is unique… or is it?
Great post and thanks for writing it…
Ahh...also my favorite line
What is compelling is that when Alice was previously in Wonderland, she was still a little girl, and by the time she returns, she is a young woman, having gone through puberty and having social conventions fully thrust upon her.
STILL our journey, sadly, as girls turning into women.
Jen Lemen was just writing about this in a sense, about being our twelve year old selves, which I have been harping on for some time.
At 12, we KNEW WHO WE WERE MEANT TO BE. Then the hormones hit the fan...along with cultural expectations.
Marcy and I, as I told Jen, have decided to call what seems to happen around 40, MidLife Excitement, when we are finally smart enough to remember how truly smart we were when we were younger.
:)
It seems to me that if someone notices that "you have lost your muchness" then it must have been a very obvious quality that you had.
For me, CONFIDENCE is my muchness, it is my strength most of the time. When I loose it, others around me can tell it's gone. I become quiet and unsure of myself. I am not the "mountain" that I usually am.
I think the characters in Alice give her the beast to slay in order for her to get her "muchness" back.
I can only get my confidence back by facing the "beast" that took it from me; sometimes a co-worker's comment, sometimes a family members behavior.
This is good for me to ponder, Jan, thanks for this!
xo
Hi Jan,
That is a great line that you quoted from the movie.
Many people lose sight of their muchness due to fear. It is important to surround ourselves with people who inspire us and encourage us. Many times we have fear due to the thoughts of others. People mean well...but ti inject fear or doubt is never helpful.
For me, what helps me stay centered in my muchness is meditation, going to the beach and just living my passion and truth.
Some days it can be hard and other days it is sheer bliss.
Hope all is well!
I'm really going to have to watch this movie. Or better yet, read the book.
If I were to just go with my immediate gut reaction, I'd have to say, my Muchness would be Innocence.
It's the innocent quality of a child who is perpetually in awe of all the many wonders that surrounds her, a child who believes in fairies and miracles, one who has not yet been hurt or beaten down by the world or life's experiences and lives her life fully open and in an attitude of trust, loving & accepting and expecting to be loved & accepted in return.
Yup. That would be it.
Fear, then, would be my Beast.
Thank you for this, Jan. It's empowering to name it. *smile*
xoxo
My sometimes missing "muchness" is definitely confidence. Confidence that I am as capable as others seem to think I am, confidence that I am smart enough, that I am up to the bumps in the road life throws in my direction, confidence that yes my art and writing are worthy of viewing...I show up, I do what I set out to do, I get through each day (some more gracefully than others), I send my art/writing out into the world on a regular basis...but I don't always feel confident about it all...I just do it any way. Smart...that one always was important in my family of origin, and I am learning that my "smartness" is different than what I sometimes believe it should be...anyway. there you have it. my missing muchness. Isn't it interesting that I coach others despite my own struggle with confidence? Perhaps that's why I do it. I know what it feels like to not believe in myself...and to just get on with living anyway.
gentle steps,
laura
I am so touched by ALL of your comments. Wow!
Ms. Exception,
I imagine that your muchness is all of the things you mention, depending on where and in what situation you find yourself in the moment. In one situation, our muchness could be compassion; in another the ability to speak out truth. What I appreciate in your answer is that no matter what the specific "trait" might be, grace and ease permeate all. And with that, perhaps your muchness is GRACE. Love it. Blessings to you!
Christine,
A powerful thought. So many of us can relate that somehow, along the way, we lost our muchness in adolescence when insecurity rose up like the beast that it is. And, as you say, many of us get back in touch with our muchness in mid-life. Thank you for this perspective.
(FYI, I was very fortunate in that I did not lose my muchness at that time of life. In fact, I found mine. Grew it! It was in my 30s through a difficult relationship that I lost mine...and had to find it all over again. This muchness to which I refer for me would be autonomy and the ability to stand on one's own and speak one's "truth" with confidence.)
Julie,
Yes, confidence for many of us would be our muchness. To go boldly, stand firmly, as Alice had to do to slay the beast. It takes time and practice and supportive others to help us regain this. I am glad that this is what we do for one another. Here's to your Mountain Muchness!
Nadia,
Welcome back! So nice to have you hear. I agree with you that our muchness may most often be sabotaged by the beast of fear. Our practices do help keep it at bay and I am glad you have yours. xo
(p.s.) I stopped by your new site and it looks wonderful. Congratulations! I will formally visit soon. :-)
I love what Laura says about confidence! I could learn alot from you. "to get on with living anyway" would be getting my muchness back. I know what it feels like to not believe in myself too. Thanks for this.
Jan, the line "you have lost your muchness" is an interesting one to consider. Since I just created a collage that included one of the characters shown below, I want to pay attention to this. Will ponder and come back here soon . . .
Carolynn,
Your comment is deeply touching. What a beautiful observation about our innocence and wonder. I am hopeful that each of us can reclaim that to some degree. How healing that would be. xo
Laura,
Oh, Laura what a comment. I hardly know where to start to respond. I will say this. I am willing to bet that every single one of us lacks confidence to some degree. But to be willing to shine a light on it, with transparency and humility as you have, is such a gift. A rarity to be that open and willing to share...and to allow the sharing to heal. I love this so much.
And you know what else strikes me? In some area, each of us is a "fake." We put on a good false front about something and beneath the surface we are quaking about it. Sometimes when I lead a program based on inner peace and right before I got there I have a big bout of anxiety - well! - who am I to teach about this topic when I still struggle a bit? Well, I am, because I am in the fray of it, learning, and not giving up. In this we are kindred....We teach what we most need to learn. It gives us good practice! Hugs to you.
Julie,
Yes, me too. And Laura is so great at telling it like it is.
Kel,
Oh, yes, do return. I wonder what you are making with this A in W character and which one it is. I'd love to hear more about your muchness...
Jan, certain stories are indeed timeless regardless of how many remakes are ceated or released. As one re-reads or re-watches classic favorites, themes that stand out are those which reach for our attention for we are in the process of healing. Alice is a universal character who invites each of us to grow more acquainted with the unconditional love and self-acceptance of the innermost soul.
I haven't seen the movie yet Jan but I love this line.
For me "my muchness" would have to be that connection to my soul or higher self. It seems that for most of our life we forget who we truly are and the process of life itself helps us to peel away the layers and finally realize and remember it..our whole and complete muchness!
Great phrase to ponder.
Liara,
I appreciate your words. It is quite wondrous to me how our soul always finds what it needs to open a little bit more, to live its full expression. A word, a photograph, a butterfly, a story of a little girl wandering "home." Isn't life amazing?
Kate,
I'm with you. "Muchness" in its truest and most basic sense to me is living through our soul. And yet, there are many aspects of that depending on what situation we are in. I like to think of the soul as the vessel that contains all of me, yet is not separated from me either. It IS me in the highest, truest sense. So, yes, there is no striving, just remembering....
I just want to declare with MUCH joy and gratitude, that I LOVE this online community!!!! So safe, wise, and filled with compassion. Thanks Jan for creating this haven here for us...and for all of you I've gotten to know over the past year...for your sweet sacred havens I love to visit. I'm looking forward to meeting those of you I have not met yet online soon.
xo
I've been reading and thinking, thinking and reading ... can losing one's "muchness" be a good thing? When I was younger, I was a striver, working hard for that VP position I wanted, competitive, aggressive. Life happened, I learned and grew ... and I no longer have the competitive feeling. BUT I PREFER IT THIS WAY. I don't care for winners/losers competitiveness anymore. My ego does not need to be top dog. I prefer to work with others, alongside them.
I think some of this happened during the 7 years I volunteered at a soup kitchen; life-changing. I think I'm much more my truest self these days, and perhaps I needed to lose some of my muchness in order to get here?
Hi Jan .. Having had so much happen to me in recent years .. I feel my muchness is “my togetherness” .. I need to recover this .. I’m on the road now – paving the path that I’ll be treading in the next few weeks .. flat to get sorted out first – then in a few days settle and plan ahead – so that that togetherness can come together!
Lovely hearing that you had a happy time with your daughter watching this film – it deserves a 2nd viewing I think .. as you say – so much in the story, let alone the film making .. and now your words and post ..
Thanks – have a good weekend .. Hilary
This post is particularly poignant for me right now. I feel like I am in the midst of battling my "beast", which is my former "self" before my very recent discovery that I have been a negative, controlling person in my marriage, and have not exhibited self love, respect, or strength for many years, if ever. What's very strange is that people around me are acting like recently I've lost my "muchness" (I'm now very contemplative, questioning how I would normally react to situations, and trying to withhold negative reactions. I'm often quiet and lost in thought) when I feel like I never really had it in the first place. I'm hoping to find my "muchness" in this quest to be a better person, and live a more fulfilling life.
as promised Jan, I'm back
and what a journey it's been!
to avoid swamping your comments with a rather lengthy 'comment' you can read all about my muchness and other wonderland stuff over here . . .
Laura,
We are very blessed aren't we to continue to connect with so many wise, open and supportive souls. There is so much joy (and healing) to be found in this way. I know people feel the same way about you and your site and the tender care you offer. Not to mention insight! xo
Rose,
You present a very interesting perspective. I would say that perhaps you were struggling with "over muchness"? Being caught up in the ego as so many of us are, we get overly confident, cocky, self-inflated and we lose our way, falling back into a more self-absorbed center of self. Maybe? The soup kitchen experience would definitely shift that! So glad you are YOU! xo
Hilary,
"Togetherness" that is a wonderful perspective on muchness. The ability to hold it together when so much is changing so rapidly, all without our wanting it to! I am glad that you have held up well. :-) May these next few weeks be good ones for you and may your muchness prevail!
Coleen,
Thank you for this wonderful transparent sharing! The beast of which you speak is well known to many women. In the guise of keeping it all together and managing ourselves and everyone in our lives very well, we often close ourselves off. Now you are re-calibrating yourself. This is very good news. I am celebrating that for you. Now would naturally be a quiet time, a time for you to notice your true self and allow her room to grow. May you carry on with ease!
Kel,
This is beyond wonderful! I read all that you shared and was so amazed at all the pieces you put together. So much so that I think I would like to keep dialoguing on this here. I bow to you (Gasho!) and your grand openings! Luv, luv...
happy to be part of any continued dialogue on muchness and slaying the fear of failure
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