Interview with a Legendary Woman and a "Dangerous Giveaway"
Welcome to Dr. CPE week at Awake is Good!
As I've written here before, Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés, author of the landmark book, Women Who Run with the Wolves, has had a profound influence on my inner life as a woman. I know many of you feel the same way.
Earlier this summer I had the privilege of interviewing Dr. E for the purpose of sharing her new work, The Dangerous Old Woman: Myths and Stories of the Wise Woman Archetype. I also participated in the live "fireside chats" she offered on this marvelous material through Sounds True. It was one of the most soulful experiences of my life. I continue to absorb the depth and meaning of her words ...
Today I am pleased to share with you Part I of a 2-part interview I did with Dr. E. (The second installment will post on Friday.) This, in celebration of her new fireside chats which begin next week, The Power of the Crone: Myths and Stories of the Wise Woman Archetype. I am confident her words will stir your heart!
Make a comment here this week and you will be entered into a drawing to win a 6-CD set of The Dangerous Old Woman! We are giving away 2! This collection is from the manuscript three decades in the making and introduces Dr. Estés' masterwork. ($69.95 value)
Before we begin, I must say this. When I read Dr. E's answer to my final question, I wept. I wept again today before posting this. I cry every time I read it. Her words touch my core. Deep, deep! One of the reasons it touches me so is that I have a 20-year old daughter who is challenged by this, as are so many of our daughters ... If Dr. E's words touch you, if there are young women you care about, will you share this interview with others? (Send out on social media, please. I only do FB.) But if you do, you must include Dr. E's copyright at the bottom.)
Read on with joy and wonder, and feel your passion rise. Thank you, Dr. E for being the blessing that you are! Gasho ...
JLL: You have said, "We have a birthright to live out our giftedness." What is this giftedness? Can you say more?
Dr. CPE: “Being you” is a cultural colloquialism that means, to my way of thinking, being ensouled, walking this world with one’s soul intact; conferring with what the soul sees, measures, following the soul’s instructions to be kind, loving, fierce, creative… unleashing our inborn gifts to bring all those to this needful world, to be the exemplars of these in daily life. Every person born on earth who has a soul, carries these gifts.
JLL: Is the Dangerous Old Woman considered dangerous because of this giftedness, in particular?
Dr. CPE: Any woman is considered dangerous, that is, unpredictable, when she is in her right mind. Being in her right mind means she is not the slave to society’s dictates, but rather follows her soul’s advice. Thus she may or may not follow/ enact/ unfold in ways the overculture insists on. She will follow her own truth; based on her gifts of mercy, love, fierceness and creative fire.
JLL: You have also said, "The circumstances of your life don't matter. The missteps of your life don’t matter." This seems to be counter-cultural, in fact. Can you explain? And if these statements are true, what DOES matter?
Dr. CPE: To unfold one’s gifts on earth doesn’t depend on perfection. We all make errors of judgment especially when young… or at any age when we are as yet untested, or still working on becoming more conscious about all the how-tos of life with soul. We all carry sorrow about something. None of us ever ‘look right.’ Yet, these are only cracks in the boulders surrounding the headwaters of the essence of life. Those breaks in continuity just show there’s been a shattering somewhere in time worthy of compassion. But they do not occlude the flow of the waters. The life of the soul and its gifts, continue to remain alive, regardless. Being banged up is no reason to stop developing one’s gifts.
I think often of violin players, for as an older child I was raised in a gypsy Magyar Swabian family. I think of the ambitious violinists who would come to the park all shined up. Then I think of two old woman who came. Their clothes were not ‘right,’ their hair was unkempt, their dresses were threadbare, their aprons stained like they’d just cooked dinner for forty farmhands. But as each raised the violin to her chin, it was suddenly, the sound of the first music ever played in the universe, the thunder of the headwaters pouring and pouring forth. The old women had no perfection of anything. They only had Everything within them.
JLL: Today, if a group of young women (teens, in particular) sat at your feet, hoping to receive a vital piece of advice from you about how to best live in today's world, what would you tell them?
Dr. CPE: The culture has many layers that are good, but the over-culture, the one you see day to day on television, in many magazines, on the internet, in the least conscious amongst your peers, is often a predator who is out to steal you away from everything that truly matters to you and to your soul; loyalty to the soul, inclusion of others, smart insights, intuitions which are deep knowings that ‘just come to you,’ learning the greater world beyond your own little one you were born to, understanding and compassion for all, finding your fit in family life, true devoted love, creative life unleashed.
You were born with all these soulful gifts. The greatest thinkers, inventors, parents, heroes, heroines, helpers, healers, teachers, statewomen, leaders… carry all these qualities and did not let the overculture steal them. Let you hold onto your gifts too. Resist any and all who say your love of life, depth of understanding, compassion and helps for the world are not important, rather you ought sell out for some cheap thing about appearance and the ‘right lover’ and the right crowd.’
Expect the predator to show up daily. The overculture pours daily images and ideas on your head, trying to inveigle you away from your talents by making you think only ‘looks and love affairs’ are supposed to take up 90% of your time, that you should anguish over these, how you look, how much you weigh, what clothes others say you must wear… who you should try to be seen with, and more… and to work at only these.
Thus everyday, the overculture will attempt to steal your true self from you, and you will no longer know truth from lie, and will have gotten on the hamster wheel going nowhere, rather than walking into your own radiant future.
A young man, a young woman who is truly ensouled gives 90% to his or her time to soulful development of talents and gifts and interests. Learning new ways of seeing and being is one of the greatest gifts of the ensouled person. We hear of people ‘losing their souls’ having ‘sold out’ to the pressures and unconsciousness of culture. This is how it occurs, by being carried off and away from your gifts by something that has no depth of interest in you, other than you buy buy buy its product, or climb atop one another like crabs, trying to be at the top of the pile.
But top of the pile is not where true leaders stand. Whether captain of a team, or being the lead in the play, or laying out an artwork to show or uplift…true leaders stand in protection of a group of ensouled people—they stand with them, not atop them. A true leader helps others to remember to remain just that, living in their gifts daily. And if forgetting for a time, the leader then helps people to remember again. And in the meantime, leaders are the good examples, themselves, of how to live one’s gifts soulfully, how to focus on what truly nourishes the soul instead of another bowlful of whatever junkfood for the mind the culture is dishing up that day.
© 2010, Dr.C.P. Estés, All Rights Reserved.
Thank you, again, Dr. E. I know you have stirred many hearts today!
Dear friends, I welcome your thoughts ....
And don't forget to leave a comment here to be eligible for the Giveaway.(You can follow Dr. E on Facebook, where she interacts and inspires daily. For a complete bio and a list of her audio recordings produced by Sounds True, click here.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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57 comments:
Excellent! I especially like her definition of what a leader is.
This is a powerful interview, but the last paragraphs are key. Last night my daughter brought home a saxophone thrilled with the joy of picking it herself, the idea that she would make music with it, and the knowledge that this was all about her – I was there to listen and support. Never having touched one outside the mouthpiece, she picked it up, learned to adjust her reed, and squeaked a little before hitting notes and playing Marry had a Little Lamb without knowing the notes etc. It came right form her heart; her delight and joy were soulful. She is just 10, and this is something I want her to remember and experience throughout her life.
I would love for other parents to read the last paragraphs and hear the words with their hearts. I am not sure that parents fully understand that we model for our kids from the moment they are born – and what we model, they are likely to repeat. SO if we model people who live their authentic selves; have integrity; and understand that we have everything we need… our kids have a good chance of learning that too.
Wonderful interview!
Lovely! Thanks for sharing! Lovingkindness, MBJ
Jan, this is an amazing interview! These responses to your questions are very enlightening for me.
I struggle with getting caught up in the over-culture, like it's a bad gust of wind constantly trying to blow me off my course. I'm just beginning to grasp the concept that roles don't matter..that titles and climbing the ladder of success is not what life is all about.
I strive to be the kind of leader you talk about; to stand within the group, to be a part of the chorus not the soloist. By doing this I hope to set a good example for my two boys... to be able to fully express our God-given gifts and still be humble, always wanting to contribute in a positive way to our community.
The deeper inner qualities of my soul is what defines me, not the world and it's expectations, I want to live as the "kind, loving, fierce, and creative" soul that I was born to live .
Thank you Dr. Estes and thank you Jan for posting this remarkable interview. This has moved me.
All Love, Jg
Thank you for this, Jan. I love her, and your way of languaging this: to be in the soul, to live our gifts- these are such affirming ideas and expressions. Just to read this interview gave me a feeling of excitement and richness, and enthusiasm for living. Thank you so much for the work you do, the soul gifts you give to all of us.
Carolynn,
I liked this definition too. Do you see yourself as a leader like this? I do! Blessings....
Ms. Exception,
Love your saxophone story! May her soul sing through the notes. I appreciate how you are encouraging her to live her joy. You are right on about how WE model what our daughters can be. So important for us to live fully, gloriously, as our truest selves. Yes?
Mary Beth,
Hello, and you are most welcome!
Jan, thank you for sharing this interview. Wish I had read it many years ago. So powerful - I must have this book!! Two of my granddaughters are the age of your daughter. I must share. Please enter my name in your giveaway. Blessings to you this day....
Wow! Sold-out/souled-out...brilliant. I will forward a link to this post to the young women I know...former students in their early twenties, my nieces and daughters...and my grown-up women friends too...wisdom we adults tend to know, but forget to tend. Thank you thank you Jan and Dr. E.
gentle steps
Thank you for this wonderful interview. Reading Dr. E's words is always a welcomed remedy. I also appreciated your well crafted questions. I shared your interview with joy.
thanks for this interview.
Dr. C's book WWRWTW changed my life! It changed the way I viewed myself, my experiences, my heartaches and my triumphs. Oh, how I wish I had someone like here when I was a young woman growing up. But now that I do - even at 53 - I embrace her wisdom and my own!
Can't WAIT for the next installment!
Wonderful interview. I will be sharing this today...
Julie,
I appreciate your heartfelt comments. I can feel your devotion and desire to be a consummate and conscious leader. May we all. It is good to remember that growth takes time, unpacking our backpack of beliefs and embracing new ways of being. May each of us be gentle with ourselves, all along the way. xo
Ingrid,
You said very well how I feel about Dr. E's work. She uses the language of the soul and it never fails to blast my heart open. "Ensouled" has become one of my favorite words. xo
One Woman,
Yes, I feel that way too. But I was fortunate to have found Dr. E's work when my youngest was 6, so living "ensouled" has definitely impacted us both. (she is now 20) You would love this book, I am sure and her new work about the Crone. Exciting stuff.
wondeful interview, i will be sharing this with my younger female friends, so happy you posted this it does my heart good to know there are women out there that want to share there soul experince with others so they may benifet, where some of us who wanted to didnt have the availability of soulful women who were willing to share openly
Laura,
Love your phrase, "souled-out." That nails it! Thank you for passing this on to others. Her thoughts and advice are spot on!
Filiz,
Nice to meet you and glad you enjoyed Dr. E's wisdom. Yes, always a treat.
Leslie,
You are welcome.
Janece,
That book rocked my world too, shook me up and landed me into the good work of soul. I am so grateful for Dr. E and her presence, even more so today perhaps now that I am in my 50s also. She speaks to my heart in a new more mature way. Thanks for stopping by!
Kathi,
Nice to meet you and thank you for sharing!
Cynthia,
Hello and welcome. Yes, to share in this way, soul to soul, is healing and aids our journey in unimaginable ways. It is all about transparency and be willing to risk being open. It ultimately brings great joy.
Dr. CPE's definition of a leader is particularly poignant. I have always thought I wasn't a good leader. Pretty much every time I have in a position of "power", the endeavor ended up not being successful. I've always been a good "right hand man", assisting the leaders, helping the processes function and interacting with the group on the ground level, etc. DR. CPE's definition makes me realize that when I thought of myself as a "right hand man" I was actually a leader after all!
[had to list the above as anonymous as my google account had gone inactive.]
My 40-something children come to mind here. The son, a wise soul, knew early on he was not one of the crowd and suffered greatly for it as a teen and young adult. The daughter probably wanted more to fit in than her brother but didn't until much later when her soul was firmly grounded. Though it was difficult for them as children I think it served them well as adults as they had to search within for strength and grounding.
What a great message and our society could not need it more! I agree with everything she says and wish we could broadcast it on a daily basis.
I aspire to be a dangerous old woman! Excellent post.
Hi Jan! Thanks for posting on my blog recently. I'd like to email you but can't get the Blogger one to work, so if you have a moment, please email me at healingstones@rocketmail.com
Namaste
Very insightful. I like the way this is worded - it speaks from my heart, I feel the rightness of it and it feel the support it gives me for the upbringing of my boys.
This brings me to a point: Truly these insights, these ideas and concepts are just as relevant to men - I see so many of them trying to find their way in this world and often without guidance.
I wish to share much of what I learn as a woman with my sons - how much better a future could we have if we understand a little more about each other?
Thanks, and I'm looking forward to the 2nd part.
Thank you for this interview - powerful indeed.
I have come to the conclusion that some of what is called the 'epidemic' of autism, the high functioning and Asperger's type specifically, are souls who have chosen to incarnate with a natural resistance to the overculture.
It seems to me that some of us came here with the specific intention that it would be harder to fit in than to follow our own soul's direction.
Perhaps an evolution? :)
Every word from Dr C is like real soul medicine. Raising a daughter is a joy and a difficult path. Mine is full of life and love but is swayed by popular media, songs where women are objectified (she lives with her Dad half the time so I cannot prevent this influence). I hope the snippets of wild time we have together are enough to give her strength to keep her soul and creativity intact.
I work with young girls in areas of self-esteem. Dr. Estes's words inspire me to inspire others to live soulfully and not give in to living as others see you.
DR ESTES'S WORDS ARE FAR REACHING AND YET CLOSE AT HAND. FOR MANY YEARS I HAVE RETURNED TO HER WORDS TO RENEW MY SOUL CONNECTION, TO SEE AGAIN MY PATH HIDDEN BY THORNS, TO RESTORE MY FAITH IN HUMANITY. HER WORDS AMAZE ME DAILY IN THEIR STRENGTH, CREATIVE INSPIRATION AND SIMPLE TRUTH. WITH GUIDANCE I RODE THE BLACK HORSE AND FOUND MY INNER AUTHORITY, WHILST SHOWING THE WAY FOR MY DAUGHTERS TO BELIEVE IN THEIR OWN GIFTS. HOW CAN WE ALL THANK THIS EARTHLY ANGEL FOR POINTING THE WAY HOME XM
I just left this on FB:
So much of this interview strikes my heart!
"Dr. CPE: Any woman is considered dangerous, that is, unpredictable, when she is in her right mind. Being in her right mind means she is not the slave to society’s dictates, but rather follows her... soul’s advice. Thus she may or may not follow/ enact/ unfold in ways the overculture insists on. She will follow her own truth; based on her gifts of mercy, love, fierceness and creative fire."
:).....A few years back, I wrote an piece "Virgin, Mama, Witch & Bitch"...The evolution of a woman. I have now evolved into the bitch stage, and it is authentic. Thank you for perfect understanding...I am here to share you with my world :)
I want to add this:
I love your blog, and what it represents. Our children, treasures to the universe, need to be nurtured. I am grateful that I home school my children, we live a nature based life, we learn, love, & .augh together :). They are both intelligent, outspoken, and very AWEARE children. I am very open with them, and they have learned to identify what is good or bad for them. Of course, there are so many "enticing" challenges out there, but that is part of growing up. I am often told they are who they are because of me, but I am really only a guide, not a "keeper".
Thank you for this excellent article, I am enjoying the comments also.
Blessings,
Heike
When I read these words, it feels like coming home to nest in my heart. How often I despair over being a writer and artist and leader, worried that I will not appeal to the larger culture, allowing that to steal my souls' desire to express itself. This is the whispering to my soul that I needed to remember why I am pulled to do the healing work that I do int he world.
Thank you for this insightful interview, as the words of Dr. Estes always are. I will be sending my granddaughter the last comment.
I have been waiting for "The Dangerous Old Woman" for years..
Judith Bayless
Beautiful interview. A few months ago I shaved my head with my 7ry old daughter standing behind my husband (the shaver!) watching aghast but yet smiling, too. And she watched my babe come into this world, with two amazing midwives sitting on my bed in awe. We are the only family driving a very old but amazing Wagoneer to her school every day. We have chickens, horses, dairy goats...we live in the Appalachians. We love our life, it is hard (but we came from harder) and our children can see how we live...what is Soul-ful, that what might look like hard sacrifice is really core Soul work. Holding a Place for Soul work. They will grow up knowing this, within this, and hopefully find balance. Your words, Dr. bring Peace and Love into my heart.
I don’t have children yet myself (I’m 24), but I often wonder… If they will be like me, taking so deep to heart everything they see and hear, how will I explain them why they feel rejected by the world “out there”? How will I protect their creativity from systematic and in majority effective straightening up at school, from invasion of sounds and images, from eating disorders, from being bullied? What else will I offer them outside the safety and quietude of their house?
A few questions asked and answered, but so many more raised. And so much to learn still. Thank you for making this interview on (either conscious or not) behalf of so many people, and bless you!
Thank you to Dr. Estes for sharing her insight and her wisdom; thank you to Jan Lundy for the depth of her questions. I will share this with my daughers. And thank you again to Dr. E for your work to bring forth The Dangerous Old Woman; I've been waiting with anticipation for it. Many blessings.
I am dangerous, and proud of it! Thank you for this interview.
Oh, my, I go to bed and wake up to dozens of comments. Thank you all for your wonderful thoughts and support of Dr. E. She is one of life's best blessings!
For many of us who are on this path to reclaiming ourselves as holy and whole, her wisdom reminds us of our own. She reminds us that we are wise and wonderful and that our wild soul is very much deserving of nurturing, of embracing.
May we continue to live "ensouled" as best we can. And when we fall prey to the overculture (as we will do now and then), we will pick ourselves up and wipe off the dust to stand tall once again.
Compassion for self is key! Loving ourselves all the way home, yes...Love and blessings to you this day. J
Over culture as predator - I've never put the two words together but I think it is true sometimes.
thanks for the interview - thought provoking!
Thank you for your words & wisdom and for sharing Dr.Este's interview with us all.
I have stood as both mother & guide for my daughter from her first moments, knowing that the outside world would influence so many aspects of her life. In these roles there is much responsibility of course. Most of all we must keep in mind that we have been privileged to have been given this gift of a child to give it out to the world when the time comes. In this way we are stewards of the soul we have brought into this world.
Our children are not just ours, they are here to carry on their own journey through life. While we can feed & clothe them on the mundane levels - we can also feed & clothe them on the spiritual level. When we do this we hand them the light to guide their footsteps along the path of life.
This means embracing their soul & awakening it to the wonders of the world & teaching them to observe it in all of it's beauty. It means encouraging them to discern without judgment,and to look past the mistakes they may make for the learning opportunity those "errors" provide.
Children learn by our example, to reach out & touch a bug, a flower, an animal or another human being with gentle hands & gentle words. But they must also come to know that the world & everything in it is not always friendly, soft or safe. And so we must teach them to be wary & to look carefully at what lays before them at every turn.
Self Awareness, Self Respect & Self Worth are all keys we must work on handing to our children.
For with those keys comes the door to a life that can be lived with conscious intent, with integrity & compassion, and also an awareness of self preservation.
My daughter went to a Waldorf School from kindergarten through the 6th grade, which allowed her heart & spirit to blossom in ways that traditional public schools could never have done. Now as an 8th grader (in public school)she still loves to play recorder - reading music or better yet listening to a song & sounding it out - making it her own. May she always play with the rhythms, and put her colored pencils in rainbow order, as well as see beyond the overculture who would seek to turn her & others into one of the mindless morass of so called humanity.
My daughter's soul, so like my own, will not be fettered by the mass marketing bombarding us through the media or otherwise - for I have shown her to look beyond the "glittering" images that dance before us like the proverbial carrot, to see that what you see isn't really all it's being promoted to be. And happiness is not all about having the latest fad, it's the journey of discovery, it's the moments you capture in your heart & soul, it's a real connection made with another of like spirit, it is the peace & contentment of the heart & soul that are worth striving for.
"The song of the river is a the song of the spirit on a journey back to source" D. Engisch-Platt
Many Blessings
Dr. E does it once again, calls my soul out to play, to shimmer, and yes often tears, sign of an opening heart. I especially loved the overculture junk food reference - so true, being bombarded by junk food. I will share this post and the coolest logo I have EVER seen - Buddha Chick, yay!
Thank you, Jan.
The work of CPE has been so important to me. I go back, I go back, I go back to her constantly. And now I think I need to re-read Wolves again for the nth time from cover to cover.
I am being so challenged by my role as a teacher of yoga and dance. I so want to give this to every single woman I pass on the streets and then to have my classes remaining small (though I have really just begun)...it is easy to get all wrapped up in ego response.
Then CPE reminds me that it's the work that matters. :) That I am showing women how to (re)member themselves.
What more could I ask for?!
powerful and insightful...thank you for sharing!
Janice, Tussen Takk for gifting us with this soul work <3
Kay Marie
Thank you so much for this article! Looking forward to part 2...great stuff! Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much! Everything Dr.E. is saying is True. When I read everything she writes I always think How true it is! How could it be that she is seeing so deep. I have been caught and i am releasing myself inch by inch.Thank you for your help.
My husband told me yesterday that he didn't think anyone knew what they were getting when he married me :) Just looking ahead to the crone years and I can feel the twinkle in my eyes and Mona Lisa smile coming on!
I so love dr. e's stories as well as her keen sense of the pitfalls of the secular lives we tend to. And her voice...ahhhh...I can hear it by reading her words. Looking forward to Part II of your interview!
Also, thanks for the wonderful Buddha Chick site. Feels like home. I relate and live in the truth of affirmation and your 12 Transformational Truths. It works!Grateful to have this opportunity for sharing. Peace!
Thanks for this wonderful interview with dr.e.....as always her words like a mighty river of goodness spilling into the oneness that drawls us back to the heart and soul.
Many blessing to one and all....
sparrow
I think that the hardest thing for young people who are experiencing their soulful life is the realization that some of their closest friends may not be moving along in the river of life as they are.
Jan, I seem to be a bit late for the party :-). I love this woman and her books and I find her to be spot on! I have resisted the soul killing world she talks about my whole life, and many people think me odd for doing so :-). I so want to win this giveaway! Thank you for this, I will be back Friday.
P.S. I am having a giveaway too.
xoxo
Hi Jan .. I'm even later .. but here .. "true leaders stand with them" yes - we are all one .. and how right Dr E is.
Wonderful interview & I look forward to part 2 - thank you .. Hilary
Thank you for providing this interview, Jan. I've just finished re-reading "Happy Yoga" (not about poses, but about being aware and fulfilled) and so much of this interview echoes the book. I was thinking this morning, too, how your blog title "awake is good" also encompasses our journeys to becoming fully awakened, fully aware, no longer asleep and following the cultural "norms" but living our lives in accordance with our Divine consciousness. All is One.
Hi Jan! Oh my God, this was fabulous! I LOVED her Women Who Run With The Wolves and used it for years in my woman's journal writing classes, it's so rich! I adore her and the book!
And now THIS! Well your interview was beyond awesome, lady! Truly! And I felt shivers and quivers reading the replies to your questions. Good ones, of course! Her definition of a leader has been written in my heart as I strive to help people with nutrition and having brilliant health! I have found this passion, unleashed it, and am fiercely determined to get out there and make a difference. This was delightful encouragement! Thank BOTH of you for that. In a world full of junk food addicts it isn't easy being the spinach lady! :)
I would love love love to get the latest book!
Hugs
suZen
What wonderful insight about leadership. Our culture equates leadership with power far too often. It's not about that - it's about taking care of the people whom you lead. Wonderful words from Dr. Estes. Thank you so much for sharing this interview.
Blessings on the work!
Thank you for coming up with such incredible questions for Dr E to answer in a way that only she can. There are so many who will live healed and more fully because she has walked this earth and shared her wisdom with us.
Gratitude is an action word...and so.. I hope to pass on what I have learned from her to others whenever the opportunity presents itself...
bright blessings to you and Dr E and the work you do
Thank you to everyone for your awesome comments. I simply could not keep up with them. They were all quite thought provoking, unique. I will be doing the drawing for the 2 cd sets shortly and will post results on Wed. morning here.
Blessings to all!
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